My Murder Diary (Part 1)

Hello. My name is Guy. Not really but that’s my alias. My real name is something you have to find out yourselves.
I’m a bit of a shy person, an introvert. I mainly avoid contact with other humans, because I usually find it awkward. I always manage to do something wrong and the whole conversation goes downhill.

I live in a small country called Estonia, it’s in Europe and right below Finland. If our also don’t know Finland then Estonia is to the west of Russia. Estonia is one of the safest places to live in. The deadliest things in this country are probably can’t accident and illnesses.

I’m a guy with brown hair, light brown eyes and a round face. I don’t like my hair in this state right now because it’s always curling up but not severely. I’m trying to grow my hair out and make a ponytail but that’s probably not the only reason.

Whenever I would need to kill a person if I would have to kill a person, it’s a good way of changing appearance. If someone were, to say, witness the crime, my hair could easily be cut down. Enough about me, let’s talk about my first murder and how it all started.

It happened last year in summer. I was in Võsu at the time. All I can remember is that I just wanted to take a stroll through the woods to clear my mind. I was very angry for some reason.

All I had on me was my phone, a lighter and a knife that my grandfather had gifted me. The knife is very precious to me and I can’t let anything happen to that knife for my grandfather’s sake. The knife has a wooden handle with fancy art on it and the blade has a sharp tip similar to a dagger.

The night I went out it was very peaceful, almost no wind at all. Since Võsu is a small place there is little to no traffic at night. I had made my way to a straight road and I saw all the way to the end of it. There was a curve leading to the right over there that led all the way to Käsmu. There was no person in sight. I kept walking until I reached a bench. I decided to sit down and rest my feet. I looked behind me and I saw the sea with a beautiful sunset.
I stood up and started going back. I was at the straight road again. To the left there was woods and to the right there were more woods.

I glanced straight ahead and this time there was a person, a man in the distance. We were a few hundred metres apart from each other. My hand moved to the handle of my knife, clenching it tightly. For some reason I had a strong urge to kill.

The closer we got, the more I wanted to take my knife out of my sheath and stick it in his throat while looking at the blood dripping down from his neck to the dry asphalt. And that’s when it happened.

We were arm’s length from each other and I just grabbed my knife and slashed his left hand. He was a fighter. I knew that because he didn’t run away or scream, he just stood his ground all the while blood gathering up where I had hit him before. Since he wore a white shirt it was easy to see how bad the damage was. The blood was spreading quickly on his shirt, I realised I must have hit something important. I probably hit a vein.

He hits with his right hand, I counter and stab the knife into his stomach. I look up to him into his eyes. His eyes look so big and sad. It just makes me want to shove the knife deeper into his chest. He falls down. I look down and I see my hands covered in blood. Luckily I could hide him into the forest.

I needed to improvise. I grabbed as much moss and leaves I could to get the blood off my hands and the knife. I got home at about 1 am. Luckily everyone was asleep and I could go take a shower. After that I went to bed.

In the morning I could hear police sirens in the distance. It had to be because someone found the body, I didn’t try to keep it hidden after all. I am proud of this whole ordeal, because to this day, the police has no clues on who the culprit is even though I was so inexperienced with the whole thing. Slowly, but surely it became a habit. This is the story of how I became a killer.