Wish

You know,
Life can really be exhausting sometimes , so much that when you’re just too stressed,or when something goes terribly wrong, you just feel like ending all of this at once and for all.You feel like dying.You think things would be so much more easier if you would be dead. After all, that’s the easiest way of getting out of the problem.You pray,”Please god, just kill me” But thats mostly just a phase.Deep down inside you,you don’t wanna really die. You don’t actually mean it. You still want to live and have experiences of several things in your life like growing old, having kids or even exploring the world. You don’t really want to be dead.
But what if, you pray the exact same thing, but not for you, but for somebody else. Somebody that you know, somebody that you does not care about at all.”Oh god, just kill her please”,you pray. And deep down inside of you, you think… nothing. You really want this person out of your life.You just really want her to die, don’t you. This ‘her’ can be any toxic family member, your ex who cheated on you , the irritating neighbour, that boss who will start your day by shouting at you or even your own best friend but for whatever reason it is, you just want her to be dead. Oh life without her would be so much more easy and relaxing, you think. But no, she’s damn well alive making your life complicated as hell. Soon you realize how unnecessary her existence is, how much you actually matter to her or how much she matters to you. Soon enough your tolerance against her starts decreasing. Decreasing faster than you could ever imagine. You just can’t stand this bit*h anymore. You pray more.. more for her death. But she still somehow manages to ruin your life by simply living her life. That crooked fake smile she gives you everyday is just a cherry on top of the cake for you, isn’t it? Oh it would be so much pleasant if someone hammered her right through her teeth. You pray that today she gets hit by a bus or that she just falls in a deep pit straight to hell so you can now celebrate. You wish for a lightning bolt directly hitting her and only her, if that’s possible. You pray that she becomes mentally ill, commits suicide, gets kidnapped..or gets murdered.
Now you start praying for something else.Patience. Yes you pray to god to give you patience. But that just doesn’t seem to work. You think your the only one left who has to do something now. You start thinking different ways of doing it.
Not very soon enough, there you stand, thinking that the task is finally done. A smile starts approaching your face finally as the scene of her lying lifeless and cold pleases you.
You killed her, didn’t you? After all, god didn’t liked the idea of giving you patience anyways.

  • Alyssa Wyant

    Stopped reading at “much more easier”.