Was That Real?

“Ugghh!!! Not again. I can’t climb fifty steps to reach the second floor again, my legs won’t allow it,” I said, as I was told by my dean academics that the signature of the Head of Department was missing from my fee remission application and I have to walk all the back to the department building and climb a fleet of fifty stairs to reach the office of HOD which was at the second floor. I thought to myself that, ‘Oh it’s not a big deal, I can do this tomorrow,’ but I knew that if I procrastinated this time then I’ll again end up like the previous one, when I was unable to submit my fee remission slip on time and my parents had to pay the entire money despite the fact that there was a very little money at home. So, thinking of that, I rushed to the department building. ‘Ugh, worst things in life comes free to us,’ I thought as the first drop of rain fell on my neck and soon after it started raining cats and dogs. I reached the department but I was drenched and the HOD was not in his chamber. So, I thought to myself lets just wait for an hour or two because the work was really important.

Sitting there watching the raindrops touch the ground I went into deep thoughts that how my life would have been if I was rich. Being poor is not a sin because we do not choose to be born poor but once you are born poor then there is no escape for that. It’s just by the words that the society tells good and supportive things about the poors but they mean a lot different and yes society is the one who makes us feel that to born poor is to commit a sin. If I was rich, the world would’ve been so much different for me. I could’ve got a brand new phone which I see everyday on TV ads and just dream to buy it, or a bike which I can travel around my college at least and save so much time and effort, and yes, I wouldn’t had to waste so much time and effort just to submit my fee remission application. I could’ve just slept comfortably in my room as all my friends are doing right now. The thing that hurts me even more is that even if I get a good job after 2-3 years, after facing such hard ships, I’ll still be poor than those brats who had their parents money to enjoy that time when I was suffering.

Huh, I took a sigh of sadness when again the clouds of depressing thoughts shadowed my vision of a bright future.

Suddenly, I looked at the wall clock and it was already 5 pm. The department closes at 5 pm and still there was no notice about the HOD. I thought that another day has been wasted and picked up myself from that old wooden stool and dragged myself to reach the hostel. The rain hadn’t stopped till now, on the way I stopped at a store to buy some supplies.

Finally I reached my hostel room all drenched again. I removed my wet shoes on the balcony and hung my socks from the wire that had been tied the balcony walls to hang wet clothes. Then I removed my glasses and put them on the table where the supplies had been kept. Then after removing my shirt and jeans and hanging them to the same wire on which the socks were hung, I went to the washroom to take a bath. I came back, put on some dry and warm clothes, and laid down on my bed with my blanket on as I was feeling cold and slightly under the weather. I then started to think again about my miserable and meaningless life. These thoughts just comes up randomly as uninvited guests to the wedding. I also don’t know when and how it all started. Was it a gradual process or a sudden change? I can’t think of it how it all began. When was the first time I had lost interest in an activity? It went unnoticed as it was not a big deal, but now after losing interest in almost everything, I wish to find the cause. It’s not clear it’s all… I don’t know hazy it seems. Even living this life is feeling meaningless. Seems like I’ve lost interest in living. I’ve been trying to find answers to these questions since last 8 months and now it seems impossible. Why? Why god? Why have I become like this? How it all began? How to stop it thinking of these? I don’t know how I went to sleep.

After that I woke up, ugh oh my god, what’s the time? What’s the place? I don’t know where am I. Then I saw my phone the time was 11:45.

I woke up and had no idea of place and time. Probably I had slept a deep sleep.

I was too tired. I haven’t properly slept since 3 days and I needed it also with red, itching eyes and running nose I thought to myself.

But soon I realized I had missed my dinner and also I don’t have enough money to eat something from outside. Probably I’ve to again borrow some money, but I actually couldn’t not. This time everybody used give me money. It wasn’t a problem. My friends were nice to me, but now I kind of feel uncomfortable for asking them money. I feared as if one day if they denied to give me the money my self-respect won’t be able to handle it and will surely ruin the friendship we have. I tried to put myself back to sleep but couldn’t I was too hungry so I thought to myself gathered all the courage kept my self-respect aside and went to the next door to ask for money. As I opened the door, a cool breeze flew across and I went out of my room. As soon as I was about to knock the next door, I saw it was locked so I went to another friend who was the second and only friend I had there his room was also locked hmm strange

It’s also seems very odd here… why? I kept asking myself as I went to knock another door that to was locked ahhh… now I get it. It seems odd because…

Every door is locked not just in my floor but…

In every floor the hostel.

How come everyone went somewhere at same time? I’ve never seen this happen.

I again felt that cool breeze and I went inside my room and…

What I saw was unimaginable…

Was something I’ve even dreamt of that I’ll se such a thing one day…

What I saw made me question my own existence.

I saw on the bed a person was lying it was dark but the face was recognizable and the person was me.

Shocked to see such a scene, I became motionless. I was filled with fear and a cold itch ran through my spine as I couldn’t believe what I saw.

What is this? Is it reality? This can’t be real… this can’t be real.

Rehearsing these phrases I began to run. I ran and ran till I made my way out of the hostel and finally I saw the sky had turned reddish black due to nightly rain.

I went to the back side of hostel where fields were present and dry green grass covered them. The moon was not visible because of the clouds. Suddenly, I heard murmurs in the air and soon they fainted away. I became scared and I started to run again and finally I fell on the ground. The moon began to shine now as it became visible as it emerged out of the clouds and from a distance I saw a things. I was not sure what it was because I hadn’t put my glasses on as I forgot them on the table in my room. What I saw seemed to be a horse. A pale horse and it was approaching towards me. I was wondering as if who would’ve brought a horse to a college and soon the picture became clear. Riding the horse was a person on a black cloak. I was not able to see a face, but I was pretty sure that he was carrying a big scythe. I again started to feel something odd as he approached towards me. I saw that he was not a person, moreover he was not a human. He had no face, he had no arms, he was a skeleton, a skeleton wearing a long black cloak riding a pale horse and carrying scythe.

Finally, I regained my consciousness and thought I knew what is that thing.

I saw a dark rider on a pale horse and the rider was death.