The Greaves Family

Chapter 1: The Twins

Back in 1996, Dean and Jenna Greaves gave birth to twins. Two baby boys. Their names were, Norman and Gordon. Mr. and Mrs. Greaves loved them equal and did not play favorites. They gave them all the same things, same toys, same clothes, even the same hair cut. The thing that set them apart was their hats. they both had baseball caps that had their names written across the top.

On their 10th birthday, they got rottweiler puppies. Norman named his Shivers because he was always shivering out of nervousness. Gordon named his Jitters because he was always shaking with excitement.

The day after their birthday their parents drove out to get donuts for the family to eat for breakfast. When, sadly, they were involved in a fatal car accident. The boys, with no other family to take care of them, were put into foster care.

They never really talked to the other kids at the foster home, They did nothing but play with the dogs in the yard. But then Gordon got adopted. they were a very nice family, In fact the only family that would let him keep his dog, Jitters. As for Norman, he got adopted not two months later,
by a family of farmers.

Chapter 2: The Graveyard

Norman is now 23 years old. After many years of working on a farm, he had moved to the city. He was working as a grounds keeper for a graveyard near his apartment. He would bring his dog Shivers with him to the graveyard.

One very foggy night, Norman was out patrolling the lands, with flashlight in hand and dog by his side, making sure that those troublesome teenagers hadn’t come back to drink beer and spray paint the graves, he heard growling behind him. He turned around to see his dog staring at an open grave. He put his hand on the dogs back to try to get him to calm down but the dog bit his hand. Stumbling backwards, he looked at the dog in shock. He saw that the dog’s eyes were glowing white. The dog, without warning, lunged at Norman. he quickly grabbed the hedge clippers from his tool belt, held them outward and closed his eyes, than heard the dog yelp and fall to the ground.

He opened his eyes find he had stabbed the dog in the chest. He crawled over to the dog to check if it was still alive. While staring at the wound, he caught a glimpse of the name tag. It read… Jitters. Realizing this was not his dog, he then looked at the grave that the dog was growling at. It read… Gordon Greaves 1996-2018. He then turned and looked at the grave to his left and read… Jitters the dog 2006-2018.

He had no time to dwell on what he had just read because he heard foot steps behind him. He turned around and saw a silhouette of a large man. Just standing there not moving at all. with same glowing eyes as the dog. He shined the flashlight at him revealing that it was indeed his brother. this was confirmed by hat he was wearing that read ‘Gordon’ across the top. The flashlight then blinked on and off untill it finally ran out of battery. Leaving Norman to stare into his brother’s cold dead eyes. The man pushed Norman backwards, into the open grave. Still in shock staring at his brother, a smaller black figure jumped onto Gordan, knocking him out of sight. Norman proceeded to climb his way out of the grave. When he got out he could see that Shivers saved the day by ripping out Gordon’s throat to protect Norman.

The daylight revealed, the two had dug their way out of their graves.

Chapter 3: Gordan

Norman got in touch with Gordan’s foster family, only to figure out that a month ago, Gordan’s dog grew very sick and passed away. shortly after Gordan took his own life. He’d left a note that said “bury me next to my dog”. Norman did what he thought was right, and put the two back in their respective graves. To make sure the did not come back, he sealed the graves with concrete.


An original short story by: Jesse Scribner

  • Simon

    “The flashlight then blinked on and off untill it finally ran out of battery.”
    So what did the two do in the meantime? Engage in a several-hours-long staring contest?

    • Konner

      My thoughts exactly

  • thirteenlilsykos

    I can only assume/hope that the author is young still and still in the beginning stages of their writing. I’ve looked back at the stuff I wrote when I was 10 ish and it read very much like this story. The main thing you was to avoid is inconsistencies. The comment about the flashlight brings up a good point. You could have phrased it differently. “Suddenly, the flashlight started blinking off and on, until it died leaving them surrounded by darkness. “. This way, you leave out the battery part so the reader can assume that it just died randomly or even maybe (if you wanted to go this route) maybe hint that the battery died as a result of a ghost draining the batteries. If you didn’t want the ‘ghostly route’ you could have just finished up your original sentence with “… out of battery. He swore under his breath, knowing that he should have replaced the batteries before I left the house.”.
    This is just an example of one of the inconsistencies that were in the story. I’m no going to clog up the comment section with the others. Regardless of anything I’ve said or anything anyone has said, but I your enjoy writing, keep writing. You’ll improve in time.

    • Simon

      And yet this is not even the worst thing I’ve read here. Far from it, actually.