The Brothers: Story of Stitches

The brothers had always argued and beaten on each other for no real reason. They were truly obsessed with sibling rivalry. Sean and Drake were their names. The older of the two Drake was a cruel amped up punk 16 year old charm suave and a little bit of grace with the perfect looks insane strength and a knack for fighting and breaking the rules. The younger a quiet shy child beaten by his brother and disowned by his parents who had no friends but all the looks of his brother and was an emo who was obsessed with art to an almost unhealthy point.

Drake was perfect in everything he did and Sean failed constantly. Their parents were no better. Their mother was and still is a h****r her name was Suzy though her customers call her sugar. Their father is a brutal hard-wired gangster known as savage his real name is Jacob.

Drake was a lot like his father violent and wild. Sean like his mother quiet pretty and very promiscuous yet hard to notice, the only reason people talk to his is to have s*x with him and only just turning 12 he has already almost finished puberty.

Now on to the story of why they are important. You see the boys have always fought just like I said. Drake would always go to Sean and ask if he had been a good boy if he said yes he would be beaten for lying if he said no he would be beaten for being a bad boy. One night the beating had been particularly brutal and Drake left in anger to go pick a fight at the lot.

One of the kids of a man Jacob had killed had been brewing in rage for 2 years over his fathers death and had decided now was the time to take revenge. About 11 PM he showed up at the door with a machete Jacob answered and was the first to fall then Suzy he hacked them to pieces. He refused to spare Sean but he had learned how to defend himself at that point and didn’t let a unskilled punk like him take him down “Why don’t you just lay down and die kid.” the murderer said. “Never!” screamed Sean at the top of his lungs and with one insane flying roundhouse he knocked the murderer unconscious and with his own machete hacked him to bits.

After killing the murderer all Sean wanted was for absolutely no one to die so with his knowledge of medical things and several stitches his father would use to fix himself up he tried to save them. Unfortunately he couldn’t resist from his evil malicious imagination he had to make a so-called beautiful human statue.

That is when Drake came in to his crying brother and the smell of blood with the most grotesque thing he had ever seen. Suddenly the silence is broken “They were never so beautiful, right, Brother.” At this Drake lost it in a swirl of depression and rage he simply collapsed in tears.

Seeing even his mighty brother cry Sean after everything he had seen went berserk. He attacked “You haven’t been a good boy drake.” He screamed. Reacting almost by instinct drake dodged and countered beating his brother in one swift movement claiming victory.

After being beaten Sean ran away to claim more victims leaving his brother to the job of burying the gruesome statue of flesh. He later joined the FBI and was of finding the notorious killer Stitches who made statues out of his victims.

Now this is a good time as any to stop quite suspenseful. Next time we shall continue the gruesome and dark tale of the brothers grim. Until then sleep tight and please of all things don’t wander the night for you just may come in contact with Stitches.

  • Caryn

    Couldn’t get past the run on sentence that is the first paragraph, and it kind of seemed a little juvenile, just couldn’t make myself read it through. Sorry.

  • Daniel

    The plot and the characters all came out with little development to it. Also when you said that the brothers’ dad is “a hard wired gangster” and his mom is a “h****r” I almost fell of my bed laughing because the way you worded it just didn’t sound scary it made it sound like a meme ya know. The story came out really rushed to and it was confusing to read.

    The way I would fix it is to take time to develop your characters, show the way that Sean struggles in his everyday life with Drake’s beatings and the absent parents. Finally when you word how bad the parents are try to make it come out as something emotional or scary. I’m not trying to say to make a 2000 word story focusing on just the details, just add some detail in and don’t rush it.

    I hope this comment helps you with the next story you make, good luck and dont get discouraged by the rating of your story. Keep trying to improve all the time with your stories.

  • Simon

    Yeah, that’s not how human beings act…