Sleepover

I remember when I was 12, I would always be having sleepovers with my friends. One day we got together and had a sleepover at her house. This was the first time I have been to her house, and I was pretty pumped. Once we went into her room, I put my bag down and told her about some very fun horror game we could play in the middle of the night. One of those games were called the “Midnight Game.” Basically you had to light a candle, take an index card and write your name on it. Then, prick your finger and put a drop of blood on the index card. After that, you go to the front door in your house and knock 22 times. Make sure that when you are done knocking, the clock should say 12:00 AM. I told my friend that the “Midnight Man” was now in the house. Her parents were sleeping, so we walked around the house very slowly with our lit candle in hand. If the candle went out, you have 10 seconds to relite it. If you don’t make that limit, you have to surround yourself with salt, so that the midnight man doesn’t get you. So my friend and I were walking up the steps of her house, they were very creaky. I felt breath on the back of my neck, which gave me more chills then I’ve already had. Then suddenly, the candle went out. I fiddled taking the lighter out, attempting to relite it but dropping it on the floor. I quickly picked it up as my friend kept scolding me. I hear footsteps coming from the attic of her house. I backed away slowly, running into a picture frame and it cracking. We screetched in horror and ran into her room. We squished together in the corner of her room. We did not want to play this game anymore. I looked at the clock, it was 2:30 AM. We had to play until 3:33, because those are the rules. The door creaked open, startling my friend and I, and we shook as the door kept opening. We got up and ran out of the room. We prayed to god for the this game to be over, but prayers wouldn’t work this time. We huddled in the kitchen hoping the Midnight Man wouldn’t find us. It was now 3:33AM, and the game was over. We went to her room, and tried to fall asleep, but I swear to god I can feel piercing red eyes looking at me, watching.

  • Stres

    Did you even proofread, bro?
    Story is pretty unoriginal, nothing happens. Littered with typos. Lucky it was rather short, wouldn’t have wanted to waste more of my time on such undercooked and bland pasta.

    • Psycho_girl

      Dont be a jerk. Yeah it was bad and kinda boring but some people dont need people like YOU telling them all their flaws the story was great in its own way. It leaves a suspense.

      • Simon

        So you’re saying he shouldn’t give fair critique and instead sugarcoat his opinions and throw around shallow praise instead? That he shouldn’t let the writer know what they did badly so their feelings won’ get hurt? How old are you exactly?

        • Dany From Mars

          Probably 10, kids act like this.

  • Urang Leo

    Try making it into paragraphs rather than one long paragraph, makes it easier to read.

    Good story overallšŸ‘

  • Ray Ramirez

    Pretty awesome