It was a miracle to let John “Wash” Gabriel, trial for 9 cases of homicides, 6 potential homicides, and 3 attempted homicides, work as a detective for Newfate’s Government. Stricken with amnesia, he slowly recovered his lost memories including how it all went wrong. He would spend the next 2 years in an office room or at a crime scene to investigate. This difficult case to crack was the Newfound Killer, he’d leave a burned stamp “Newly Found” on his victim’s left arm. Why did John decide to take the case? Well he believes this killer is the one who encouraged his homicides. The only proof of that is a burn mark on his right arm that says “I’m Watching,” could be a coincidence but could not.

May 2nd, 2007, Flash! Flash! The camera’s shuddered around the yellow caution tape. John got out of his black SUV, and looked at the newly found victim’s remains and the spray paint around him. There was an ambulance, 3 police cars, and a fire truck on the scene telling people to evacuate the crime scene. John walked under the caution tape towards the ambulance where his partner was interviewing a couple on what happened. “Another one,” John said. “They just keep getting more progressive,” His partner Tom Perkinson said looking at the body, “at this point they’ll have to evacuate the entire downtown area!” “What you got?” “Oh, how it looked to this couple.” “Let me see,” Tom handed him the paper. “They said he just exploded out of knowhere, guts and everything on the street, that’s when people panicked and ran around the body and stuff,” Tom got a bottle of water and started sipping it. “Uh-huh.” The remains got sacked up and then carefully placed it in the ambulance to inspect on. “We’ll check the CCTV cameras and check what happened,” John said leaving the area and bumping into teenagers wanting to see the carnage.

BZZZZZ The static buzzed to life as they placed a security cartridge in. The office room had a small TV on top of a table, a desk in the corner with a lamp, and a big window near the entrance. 7 people were watching, John, Tom, an inspector, 2 other detectives, a cop, and a carpenter cleaning the room. “Play it in 10x speed and look for any suspicious characters.” They played it times 10. Little by little it got to 6PM. “Stop, This was an hour before the crime took place,” John said sipping his coffee. For 15 minutes nothing seemed abnormal. Then the man walked in a bar. An ice cream truck pulled over. 45 minutes later the man walked out with a whiskey and then turned to look at the ice cream truck. POW! He exploded in a small array of flames. The couple right next to him froze in shock and everyone else fled. Tens, hundreds, possibly thousands evacuated. The ice cream truck then proceeded to drive past the body and leave. The ice cream truck’s side had “Icecreme” poorly painted on the side and a drawing of a little blonde haired kid licking a chocolate, vanilla, strawberry ice cream cone. The truck wasn’t a truck, it really was a white van. John watched it slowly leave and had a flashback.

John was playing with his best friends Jaeden, Jack, and Cristano, all boys 10 years old playing their version of poison in the warm summer breeze of 1976. To play poison you’d have a ball and would have to bounce the ball on the wall and then run to touch the wall before someone grabs the ball and tags or throws it at the person. Another game was throw the ball(As Hard as you can) at someone to tag them out. The games resulted in injury including the time Jack got hit in the left eye and all his blood vessels popped and got dilated for a month. KAPOW! BAM!!! The ball would sound.

They just finished the game with Jaeden the winner. They were sweating. “Howabout’ we go get some ice cream?” Cristano pointed at an odd white van playing “The Old Grey Goose Is Dead.” “Sure,” John said. “Sorry I can’t come. No mon-” “No worry’s!” John cut J******f. “Sure then, thanks!” “I’ll probably get diabetes but one scoop wouldn’t hurt,” Jaeden said. They rode their bikes towards the truck 200 yards away, it was the evening and the sun was going down. Knowone was in the car. “Hello?” No reply. “Hel-lo-o?” BAM! A man in the back slammed the trunk. He walked towards them. He was holding a rag that smelled funny when you get to close to it. “Oh, well what can I do for ya?” A slender man in a white suit and a sailor hat stood by them. He had dirty brown hair, an evil grin, and blue eyes. They ordered their scoops but something was off to John. When the man gave them their cones his other hand was clenched, he looked intently at John and as John ordered the man sort of paused. “Thank You,” We all said. “No, thank you!” We rode our bikes towards our houses. “Oh and almost forgot!” We stopped. “Where do you guys live, I was thinking of giving you guys a discount for your next scoops if that’s alright.” “We live right over their,” Jack pointed at our houses. “And what are your names?” How reckless of Jack to say these things. “Jack, these are Jaeden, John, and Cristano.” “Well i’ll see you guys around!” The man left. They didn’t know at the time but what they did would cause the murdering of a 68 homicidal killing spree.

May 30th, 2007, The thought of his mistakes drove him insane. This day was another case, this time at a school. There was only this time a police car and an ambulance. The body was 14-year-old Grey Hamilton. There was no CCTV cameras but this time there was more evidence around the body. First off there was the classic “Newly Found.” And a note. Teacher’s reported seeing him being thrown off the roof with a noose on his neck by someone with a dark blue sailor’s hat. What is the Newfound Killer’s purpose on these murders?

RRRING RRRING John picked up the phone. “Gabriel residents how may I help you?” “Hey it’s Tom, We just got back from the crime scene and will be on our way with the file, find anything on that ice cream truck?” “No, sadly not. How long will you be?” John pulled out a cigar and started pacing. “30 minutes tops, we’re confronting the victim’s parents.” “Okay.” “Okay by.” John sat down and started looking at the locations of the killings on his map.

KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK! John opened it. There was mail. Bills, Wills, case #32, an odd yellow note. John lit his cigar and unfolded the crippled paper-smelling note.

“Dear Sir Gabriel,

it is my thoughts that conceived me to write this letter,

as of today I will be coming out of the shadows,

I know where you live.”

John’s interest made him read on.

“As of July 4th I will set an explosion in Middleton Recreational Park just for you,

you don’t have to believe me but it will happen,

after I send you these notes you will return as a killer,

Your’s Truly, 76.”

John’s expression widened, is this man a prankster or bluffing? John turned the paper, there was a picture of a ice cream truck. CREEEK! John’s door opened. “We got back early, the parents didn’t want to talk to the police so we are scheduling the meet in a week at 5.” Tom held a file report, “You alright?” John realized his cigar had been in his mouth the entire time and he was standing in the middle of the room. “Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s see it.” They set the file down and opened it. The first thing was a picture of the lifeless and frightened body of ol’ Grey Hamilton. “Aaw Jesus,” John said in sorrow and disgust. “Grey Hamilton, 8th grader at Newfate Middle School and was top on his class, no health problems or anything to make him go wrong.” The rest was his grades. They turned the page. There was the image with “Newly Found” and a stubby red pistol. John’s heart skipped a beat and he got thrown into a flashback.

It was now January of 1977. The winter air was leaving and for Christmas John got “Carry,” A horror movie his parents forbid until he was 11, and he was 11. The ice cream truck would show up time to time, including the time they went to play hide n seek and tried to tell them to go in the back. They respectfully said no saying they already have chosen their scoop of the week. Those kids were innocent, but tonight on January 1st and the ice cream truck would be at John’s house to pick up Jaeden, Cristano, Jack, and John.

“Put it on, put it on!” Jaeden said excited. The 4 made a fort and was lying in it. John put in the VHS and clicked rewind. “So what have you been up to Cristano? Haven’t seen you for awhile.” “Busy Church stuff.” What was cool about the four was John and Cristano were Christian, Jack was a atheist, and Jaeden was spiritual, making up the mashed up squad. The VHS stopped. John hit play and turned off the lights. His parents and uncle were downstairs talking.

When they got to the scene where the school caught fire John noticed in the corner of his eye a car pulling with its headlights off. “Who’s parent is that?” “I dunno, I am getting picked up at 11,” Cristano said. The clock said 9PM. They all looked out. It was the ice cream van. The trunk was open but they couldn’t see anyone. Suddenly the slim man they’d see often pulled out a cigar and was chilling in the front. Then he threw the cigar on the ground and stomped on it. He proceeded to the van and put something shiny red in his pocket. He walked towards the door. KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK! “What’s that he’s holding?” Jack said. “I don’t know,” John said. They were interested why he was coming so late because of the curfew due to the missing children. “I’ll get it!” John’s dad said. Creeek! Chink! “Who are y-” POP! POP! They heard gunshots. They all froze and could only listen. John’s face worsened and turned pale. “Aahh! Who-” POP! POP! POP! It went silent, then they heard a limp body. Then the footsteps grew louder as he went upstairs. Jack opened the window slowly and quietly. THUMP-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP!!! It was silent and they turned off the TV. BANG! The door flew open and the man showed up with a stubby red pistol. The man was covered in thick dark red blood. “Run!” Cristano said. Jack tried leaving by window but got shot. POP! The man put a rag on John’s face and everything went black.

July 4th, 2007. John the other day had a nightmare he was being masked by the rag with blue liquid he later on would know as chlorophyll and was going to be killed by a giant cult. What was new was within Jun 10th – June 30th, 5 other cases were being filed. John didn’t think much of the flashback because flashbacks were always being triggered by a case or a random kid on a playground. July 4th would be known for Newfate as a turning point in laws and a more strict curfew.

8:29 PM, They are just starting the fireworks in New Grove and M.R. Park. The accileration made evryone awed and excited. FEEEEEEEEEW. POMP! The fireworks went. John was watching the fireworks from the roof of a building with Tom. “You know I can’t believe they may pull off a big one this year,” Tom said. “Yeah me to, have you seen those pop its? They’re so fun to play with but yet is lethal with enough powder used at once.” “Yeah, when do you think we’ll find the killer?” “Soon,” John stared at a purple with a green outlined firework. Peeeeeeeeew…….BAAAAM! Big red ashes flew out of Middleton Park and people were running away from that area. John stood up. Peeeeeeeeew……BAAAAM! Another one blew up by the statue of Faith. “What the hell?!” John and Tom ran by to help evacuate. The icecream truck was there across the park, John stared at it and started running towards it. People were shoving and pushing one another and John got shoved down. John got up dazed and the truck was leaving. The back had no license plate. “Damn it!!!” John yelled.

After the chaos ended he walked home. To his house he saw a note nailed on his door.

“Happy 4th of July!” There was pictures around the writing of all the 37 cases he worked on that said “Newly Found” and behind the note it said “You’re Next.”

That night he slept in the living room with a revolver in his hand locked and loaded. Tap-tap-tap-tap! John got up. “Who’s there?” It was silent and John got up. His door was wide open and there was a note attached to a radio playing “The Old Grey Goose Is Dead” on the front porch. John looked at the note unaware there was a man with a black suit and a drama mask on behind him. “Look behind you.” John slowly turned. The man jumped at him with a big leap. The man had a rag and was trying to mask him but John kept kicking and trying to take off the mask. They both fell off the porch and he got masked.

John woke up on the couch with the revolver in his hand, he looked around. He was unharmed, it was all a nightmare. John looked at the table and he saw a radio playing “The Old Grey Goose Is Dead” with a window cracked open. John couldn’t sleep the rest of the night and had a flashback.

John woke up in a cell in a building. John was stripped naked. He was in pitch darkness, no friends around, no civilization. “Hello?” No answer. A little dripping sound was behind him, John turned and put his hands out. He felt something mushy and flies were around it. John gagged and jumped at the cell bars. “HELP! HELP!” No answer. John felt helpless. He put his back against the wall and started crying.

Sometime a day later, John woke up in a puddle of tears and a dim flashlight next to him. He got up and grabbed the light. He found something glinting, a pistol with one bullet and a small portion of meat. John ate the meat. A light flashed in his face. “You are not who you think you are,” It kept repeating. Then a dead body flew in front of him. It smelled like rotten meat. It was so strong it was like smelling a cowfield time 100. John started gagging. “You are not who you think you are, You are not who you think you are, you are not who you think you are, you are not who you think you are.” It was getting cold and John started shivering. “You are not who you think you are,” It stopped. The light disappeared and he was back in darkness. John turned on his dim light and looked at the dead body, there was a key in its eye. John gagged and put his hand in the eye, he pulled it out. It felt slimy and cold. John threw up and then proceeded to look at the body in the cell with him. John saw his chest had an opening and he stuffed his hand in it, there was something metallic. John tried pulling it but it wouldn’t budge. John looked at his key and then found the hole and turned on the ignition. KLINK! John turned and walked towards the bars. John saw a mask with eyes popping out, real looking eyes. John flinched and fell. John got up and walked towards the mask and looked below it. John unsteadily raised his hand and reached for the thing under it. John grabbed it and a hand touched him. John screamed and the thing rolled out of sight. John had never felt fear like this, nothing else happened for 48 hours but crying, looking, flashlight getting dimmer, and sleeping.

July 5th, John got up at the crack of dawn and got his coat and rushed to his office. He told them about what had happened. By July 10th he’d have surveillance cameras and a cop around his house around the clock and 12 hour surveillance.

August 16th, 36 days after the usage of guards around the house. Now something had to be done with the guards, the killer thought, so he perceived a plan that left John Gabriel scarred for life, like his life wasn’t scarred enough! It’s the end of summer, meaning fewer breaks and more working around the dot. No homicides were made within the 36 day period which made John believe he was indeed next.

It was a very humid day and John had just been done talking to the head official of the department on moving schedules to 6AM-12PM. The official said with a sickening gesture no, John has had issues with this guy since he started working. John never agreed on his terms or rules of the department and at one point got banned for a deafening 6 months. This got through to the news and the head had to re-hire him.

John walked out of the main building. John checked his watch 12:30PM. There was a note sent to him July 30th stating on this day he was coming for him on this day. John couldn’t carry a fire-arm in public so he was left with a taser, handcuffs, and death-threatening notes in his inside pockets of his coat. John got his hat on and walked to town central square, a plain square 250 by 250 yard area with cut grass, benches, and a statue of the supposed founders of the area. On the north side of the area there is a building the size of a bank with rows of columns around it, the town hall. And for the East and West side there is a U.S. Flag, The California Flag, and Newfate’s flag(A golden circle with blue and a picture of a torch the colors red and green saying “New Fate of The Land, U.S.). John always grinned on that pun, “New Fate of The Land, U.S.” John decided to invite Tom to the theaters to see “Burned,” a sci-fi thriller directed by the local “Steven Bradford” and got a total of 20 Million dollars in the first week of Box Office results. The film got a solid 4.0 rating. “What’s up?” “Nothing much, you?” “Oh just wondering if you wanna see the film Burned, I have a 12 hour break.” “Holy that busy?!” “The cap’n of the ship told me due to budget cuts we need to work longer hours.” “That jerk, he gave me the 20 hours!” “I don’t care,” John did care though. “anyways do you wanna see the 5 o’clock showing?” “I’m not into that alien nonsense but okay.” “Okay meet ya there.” John hung up. In fact John didn’t know what it was about. John walked to the theaters(a 5 minute walk) and read the description.

“In this sci-fi thriller, 5 men of Earth is set to go to Mars in the year 2050, In an attempt to leave they find eerily strange friendly creatures. After awhile they start threatening him and eventually go on the verge to killing their crew off one by one. Will they make it back alive?”

5:00PM, They sat in their seats. The movie’s intro was the 5 men rushing towards the rocket and a creature is latched onto one of the guy’s faces. Then the screen went black, “48 hours earlier.” John sat uncomfortably next to a teenage girl passing out almost leaning on him and next to him Tom munching on chocolate and popcorn. “Hello Linda,” A man in a space suit said. “When will you be back our kids can barely even remember you guys! It’s been a whole year!” The man started crying. “We’ll be back soon, I promise!” “You always say that.” The man hung up. Seemingly on que a man walks into the room. “Hey ya… want some ice cream? We’ll be landing within 24-72 hours.” The man turned around a little. “Ya, um… I’ll be down their in a few minutes.” The next scene was them at a dinner table eating space ice cream and then the camera aims at the window where there’s a shiny dark purple planet with a blue ring around it. After that it zooms 29 hours. Another man suffers from the loneliness of the ship and washes his face in the restroom and looks at himself in the mirror. After some 3 or 4 scenes later they land on the planet. The planet is coated in thick purple sand and rocky blue metals, the atmosphere is very thick and the gravitational force was x-10e.w.(Whatever that meant in space terms). It was mostly silent and there was no wind and no clouds, the sky is a pitch purplish color. The men look ahead where they see clusters of iron everywhere and then they find it. Life. Skip 10 scenes later and they’re running towards the rocket, long-story short they all die, 3 from the creatures, one from cold space, and the other from suicide. They walked out of the theater. “That coulda been better,” said Tom. “You were totally into it did you see yourself,” John smiled. “You went through a medium-sized popcorn and 4 chocolate bars!” John laughed. “I get hungry that’s all!”

11PM, John was cozy and nearly forgot about the threats. The 4 cops were outside. John put on the TV and started watching the twilight zone, his favorite 60’s show. The episode was about a woman who wanted to be on film so badly her thoughts consumed her and she was forever stuck in a movie.

Outside, 3 cops were playing go-fish while the other was scout. “10’s?” “Go fish.” A man grabbed a card. “Hey Ricky you wanna join in? I don’t think the man’s coming tonight ever, a simple death threat from a dude who hates Mr. Gabe, possibly a victim’s parents.” There was silence. “Ricky?” A man got up and opened the door to the other car. The man was dead, an iron bar stuck in his throat. “What the-” A man jumped from above the car, he put a mask over his mouth and tied him to a noose. From their the man, in the shadows, scurried to the roof of his house and tied him, then let goed.

“What’s takin’ em so long?” “I dunno.” “Go fish.” Tap-tap-tap “There you a-” The man got impaled in his throat. The last remaining guy pulled out his gun. SWAP! The man in the mask stabbed a knife into his wrist. The man shrieked in pain. The masked man then stabbed his thigh. “Mmmmmmmm!” He cried. The officer opened his side door and fell down. Then he got up and limped in the middle of the street. VROOOM! The car turned on to life. The officer turned the corner and was close to a street. Vrrrrrrrrr! The officer looked behind and saw the car nearly hit him. It was a mad dash. The car turned off and the man in the drama mask walked towards the officer. “No, NO!” The officer yelled as he pulled out a stun gun. Click, click. The man limped towards freedom while loading the gun. The man slipped on the wet ground and got back up. The man turned and shot. Pimp! Pimp! One got him but didn’t do a thing. The drama masked man started laughing. All the officer could do is make it out. He was 50 yards, 40 yards. The man ran towards him at 20 yards and pulled him into the shadows.

John was on the couch almost passing out until he looked outside. The police car’s 2 back doors were wide open and he saw a body hung on his porch and a body in the car. John got up expecting anything and locked all his doors. To late. Creeeeeeeek! A door upstairs sounded. John slowly turned and looked up, the man, the ice cream man was there with a mask on his head. John opened the door to go outside and a body with the same mask was on a chair was there. John flinched and fell down by the table. John grabbed his gun and shot. Bam! Bam-bam-bam-bam! The man fell down looking lifeless. John’s heart skipped a beat as he went towards the body and opened his clothing. The head jumped up into life and choked John. John was wheezing and couldn’t breathe. For a good 15 seconds he was struggling trying to reach for a weapon, anything in this moment! John passed out.

“You are empty, you can help us, you are empty, you can help us,” PUMP! A big light flashed. It was a month or so in the building. “How can I help you?” John was in a trance due to the “wash.” A window slid open and he was greeted with February birds roosting on the roof. A man walked towards John. “Help us win the fight to freedom, help us win the fight to freedom.”

John woke up, it was the middle of the day and he was laying on the floor. Everything sounded echoey to him. “Jaaaaaw! Jaaaaw! Jaaawn! John!” Tom walked into his vision. “You alright buddy?” John looked around, there was a shattered window and a caution tape. “Lets get you up.” Tom lifted the barely conscious John up and moved towards the door.

John was given a shotgun and a big door slid open revealing blinding February sunlight. A small breeze blew and it smelled of manure.

John as he stepped down his porch looked around and saw he left his gun. John was limping and looked down. A glass shard was stabbed into his foot as he made it to an ambulance.

Ka-CHUNK! John cocked the shotgun and entered the worn out white ice cream van. The man drove off telling him his first mission.

John sat in the ambulance. “Eye check, now leave your eyes open for a sec honey,” A nurse said. “Now ima check your temperature. He’s free to go!” Tom helped him out and they took out the glass. They bandaged it and told him to rest in his car.

POW! Ka-CHUNK! “AAAAAH!” POW! People ran in all directions as John grinned as he shot in the Muster Bank.

John laid in the van, a single tear rolling down his cheek as he slowly past out.

August 30th, John fully recovered and had minor damage a week later. Why did the man not kill him? Tom opened his office. “I think I know who it is, the man!” They walked outside. “Why are you not in uniform?” “It was so important I just had to come.” “You coulda called.” “That’s the thing! Someone cut the line!” “We-e-ell who is it?” They stopped by the West Bank Memorial. “The killer I believe is.” His mouth seemed slow and silent. “Baaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeee Drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.” “Wai’ wha?” “Barry Dru of Engil Port.” “How do you know?” “Well of recently he has been more inactive and owned a building in Engil. He is incharge of ship loads!” John thought of what happened.

Age 20, John had just took psychiatric treatment and heard bad and terrible news. John was sitting with his psychiatrist playing chess. Knock-Knock-Knock! “Come in!” A man in a black suit walked in. “Now Mr. Gabriel, I bring terrible news!” The psychiatrist poured him a cup of tea as they sat down. “Now. Gabriel,” The man started thinking, he got hisself together. “Your father is dead.” John’s was expressionless. The man coughed. “Now what do you feel about this?” “What should I feel?”

John looked at his father’s grave as he sat down in rage. “If only I knew at that very moment!” John broke. John tossed white roses, not red. John walked away thinking why his father committed suicide. He then ignored that thought and walked away. The screams he caused when he was 13-17 made his throat get a stabbing. Sensation

A full year since the incidents with his older killer and he was now prepared. December 24th, 2008.

It took them 8 months to figure his pattern and 2 months to prepare. John learned to channel anger and throw out the past in big situations.

Before we near the end there is a nightmare waiting to be shown.

KNOCK-Knock-knock pat-Pat-PAT! KNOCK-Knock-knock pat-Pat-PAT! John felt endless stress as he walked down a dark narrow hallway, no doors and the walls had pictures of his child hood. The day he went to Disneyland for his 6th birthday, the happy days of elementary, now encased in very sturdy frame-work made of metallic materials. The hall had low flickering candles every 10 or so yards. The wall had a decoration of autumn leaves and orange stripes. P-p-p pa-pa-PA! A big breeze blew in his face. John covered his face. John moved forwards the breeze getting stronger. John made it to a door. John slowly creaked it open. DI-Di-di da-Da-DA! John found a mask on the floor. John picked it up, a drama mask. John realized he was standing in a circle and the floor collapsed. John was in a cell, and watched his parents die. Then John was brought back in the present. This nightmare was 5 months earlier.

Now it was the time. John and 2 squads of men in riot gear was outside setting a perimeter. This was going to get bloody. “You cover me, he wants me-ME! So we gotta attack from below to lure him out.” “3, 2, 1 GO!” John pulled out the red stubby pistol. “Hey ya remember me?!” They walked slowly past a bunch of gas tubes. Shhhhhhh! John heard gas in the distance. Something was watching them. A little after checking the place they found pants, socks, and then a woman tied to a chair. “Are you alright?” “Sir-SIR!” John yelled. John lunged at the man as he tried to unmask her. BAM! P-p-p-p-p-! Everyone shot. In flashes of lights one by one the 2 squadrants died slowly, now it was 4 left, including her. “Retreat!” The big door slowly closed. “Run!” They sprinted with their equipment. A tripwire made them fall. “No!” They ran, John and a guy missed it. “Move outa the way!” The man grabbed his gun. P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p! The man shot at the big door to make it out. PAP! The guy fell down shot in the back. “We’ll figure something out!” A man from the other side said yelling. John turned, just him now and a masked murderer. “I guess it’s you and me now, I guess it’s you and me now,” The voice repeated. The run was on. Pu-pum p-p-p-p-p-p Pu-pum John’s heart repeated trying to run. John climbed a ladder and aimed his gun. The man wasn’t there. John looked around and found the masked man behind him. The man pushed him down. John was unconscious. He blacked out.

John remembered being dragged into a van, then being unloaded into a sweet-smelling building. John woke up tied to a chair with a device on his finger. A VHS player automatically played on que a video. “Welcome to Testing Research Facility of Justice! I am your host-” Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep! “Now how this works is we attach the machine on your finger harmlessly-” Static rose on the screen. “Then a shockwave will appear in form of white “majik”-” “Will-” “Safely harmlessly kill-” “We hope you have a lovely day!” The screen went black. John looked around, he was in what seemed to be a hospital.

John saw a man through a blackened window a little with a button. “Malfunction! Mal-” The man walked in the room. “Aaaw man not this again!” The man opened a circuit board. “So well welcome John Gabriel, at this point I may as well watch you close up because you don’t know how hard it is to be in a shaded window so uh-” He turned and looked at John. The voice was very distorted and misplaced but still readable. “Now hold still!” The man grabbed his free hand. John struggled and tried to talk. He couldn’t talk. The man reattached the machine clipped on his finger. The man stood up and walked close to John’s head. “This is gonna hurt!” The man pushed a blue button. John was being electrocuted by the killer. The man laughed hysterically as John struggled. John bumped into John giving a temporary shock. “OOO!” John realized what to do. John moved his leg a little and shocked the hell out of the guy. The man for a good 1 minute stood there shocked. The man then died and the button in his hand got pressed.

John got out and limped towards the door, John looked at the body and turned to unmask the man. The man was faceless and metallic. “What?” John tried to say out loud. John stumbled as he opened the big wooden door. John got caught by 15 or so people. “So you’re the last one of us are you?” John looked at a calculator 4/20. How? John looked around confused and puzzled. “If you don’t know we are in a facility building run by someone,” a woman said. “We can only make it out in groups so I’m not sure if you’re prepared but are you ready?” John couldn’t figure out what was happening, more than one killer? Is that why there are different motives? Why is there 21 people? And most importantly, is this just the beginning?

The end, for John’s Story!

Act One

  • Rose Morrison

    Overall, from what I gathered with great difficulty, an interesting story. However, it is practically unreadable due to the mis-used words, mis-spelt words, lack of punctuation and poor sentence construction, plus the erratic plot jumps, time jumps and lack of coherent continuity. It needs a really good edit to make it great. My apologies if I am perceived as being harsh, I say what I see.

    • 123KidZ

      Its my fault cause i didnt put Much effort, I literally got bored in my house so I thought “hey let’s make a story”

      • Rose Morrison

        So, if you put some effort in, imagine how great this story could be?

        • 123KidZ

          Yeah ok