The eyes in the paintings start following me. I hear distant voices come from the basement. My neck hair is always on end. The temperature change is always obvious. They try to speak to me, but ignore their whispers. I’ve told anyone who will listen, but they don’t help me. None of it is real to them, but I see it.

They cling to their backs. I scream at them over, and over, then I’m shackled. They keep saying I’m crazy, but I know better. You don’t feel what I feel or see what I see. That’s your weakness, but my strength. I will always be a step ahead.

They knock lamps off tables, and steal clothes. It’s always our fault though. We are to blame, not them. They don’t see what I see. I scream over, and over. Helping me is their job. Why did I waste my time. I knew this was important, but they don’t believe. I’ve shown them the wounds from battle. The scars from war. But do they understand, or feel compassion to at least listen, not a chance.

I’m out of my mind, they convince me. I repeat it again to myself. I am crazy, this cannot be real. I know it isn’t. I hear a whisper tickle my ear. I can’t understand it’s voice, but I know it isn’t me. They think hiding inside my blanket will help. These are not closet monsters. There is nothing under my bed.

My ears begin to ring, and I scream. They rush in, strapping me to my bed. I am no animal, but I don’t wanna die either. I scratch, and claw at them as they lock the chains. They don’t know what they are doing. This won’t help me at all. This makes it worse in fact, I’m so vulnerable.

These lock, and keys won’t keep them away. I hear their footsteps approaching. I chill runs up my spine, like a single drop of sweat was trailing down my back. My neck hair stand at attention as the temperature starts to change. They are closer now, closer than they have ever been. Why do they wait so long, I am ready to go. I’ve mentioned it many times. Yet they still arrive, and leave. The others let them in, no matter my opposition.

They claim it’s something I need, but they don’t know it’s killing me. There is a constant buzz inside my ear now. It’s volume increases. It’s unbearably hot in here now. I’m drowning in sweat, as I still struggle to break free. I feel them at the door now. I hear the handle turn, and the hinges break loose. The two horrendous faces peer around the fake cherry wood door.

I start to panic to a different degree. I have never felt this kind of fear. I am always afraid, but this is always the worst. The faces gleam at me. I try to look away, but all I can do is press my face left. I squeeze my eyes closed, still struggling to get away. Then I feel the weight change in my bed.

They are right above me now. Tears, sweat, and pain avalanche my dismal sanity. I still struggle with the wrist, and ankle bracelets making me vulnerable again. I feel one of them touching my arm, and it’s hot. It almost burns me. I start to seize up completely. No one is coming to help now, they never do. If I could scream I would, but my voice is gone.

I hear a light whisper by my ear again. I shake my head avoiding what it saying, but it keeps whispering. The same thing again, and again. I’ve heard it tell me this before. I know the lies, specially from this cadence. The whisper grows louder. To the point of almost feeling it hit my ear.

“Honey, it’s just us. Calm down, breath, breath, breath,” the whisper says.

  • Aly Greg

    it’s so difficult to see things from the patient’s perspective..i feel it..thumbs up for this!