The Shadow

This is a true story, it happened to me back in 2009. I was 19, just went off to college, and I admit I was having fun. So one night, me and nine other friends snuck out to go to a frat party. Well, let’s just say the men were more than welcoming. Anyway, about 2 that morning, I was ready to leave and so were my friends. So, when I found some of them, I drove us back to the dorms because I don’t drink alcohol. I was sober obviously.

We got back safely. As I got out of the car, I saw what looked like a shadow but I didn’t pay it no mind as I was just ready to get in bed. Later that night, I jerked awake, and I have no idea why. I woke up at 6 in the morning, but there I was. I looked around the room and everything seemed normal. Until I decided to turn on my laptop and do some writing because I knew I wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep for a while. So I powered it on and waited. Just right after it booted up, I could’ve sworn I saw something out of my peripheral vision.

I thought it might’ve been a trick of the light outside that was casting shadows in my room. But later I found out it wasn’t. So I go on and open Microsoft Word. I managed to get the title of a story I wanted to write, but I saw something again and I turned my head around slowly. In the corner, I swear I saw what looked like a shadow but I wasn’t sure. As I turned back around, it moved and I almost jumped out of my skin. The shadow had eyes, big red eyes, evil eyes. I screamed and woke up my roommate who instantly panicked.

I told her what happened. When she and I looked again, of course she didn’t see anything at first, the shadow was gone. At this point, I was questioning my own sanity but my roommate asked if I had something under the bed with red in it. I felt the panic rise and I said no in a shaky voice. We need to leave now so we tried to get off the bed quickly, but my roommate wanted to know what those two red dots were. I begged her not to look. She came over to my side of the room and the moment she bent down to look at what was under the bed, the shadow grabbed her and pulled her under. I tried to help her, but whatever force had her, it was strong. Some other people saw it too, so I know I’m not crazy. I didn’t sleep anymore that night or the next day.

I switched rooms and vowed to never go back in there. It was the most frightening experience I’ve ever had. But I found out why it happened. Two young girls who stayed in the room before I came used to dabble in the occult and used an Ouija board to summoned something they had no business messing with. They managed to move away and left whatever they conjured behind for someone else to deal with. But I won’t be a victim and every night I say a prayer for safety. I’ve never seen the shadow again and I hope I never will.

  • PurplexiaSphinx

    Pretty good. You should review it and fix a few things in the beginning however. There were several grammatical errors, double negatives that really made no sense in or out of context, and a sentence that really looked like it should have another word… Or five. Don’t get me wrong, I really liked the story, but as a fellow author I wanted to try to point out a few things that could help your writing become at least a little better in the long run. You don’t have to listen to me, I’m just saying… I’m sorry, this got a little off-focus. I like the story!

  • Daniel Di Benedetto

    I’m going to be completely honest with you… This just sort of seemed… lazy. Saying “this was true” doesn’t make it anymore believable, and all in all, the story was pretty cliche and surface-level. It barely took the time to develop any aspect of the characters or plot, and had an unoriginal ending. Not to mention, the grammar wasn’t the best. Make sure you put more time and effort into a story, because at the end of the day, it really shows. In no way am I trying to sound condescending; just a bit of advice to help you become a better writer!