Smile

 

When i was a kid my mother and my little brother and I lived in an apartment building in indianapolis on Washington street. The apartment building was one huge house on the corner by a dollar general that was split into four apartments. Fortunately it was a really nice place. Unfortunately we had a door leading to the cellar in our apartment. Now i was eleven at the time this happened so i remember pretty well. My room which i shared with my brother who was eight at the time, was across the hall from the cellar door.

I was just a kid at the time and i was afraid of the dark so my mom would leave the hallway light on at night and my door cracked open. One night a few weeks after we had moved in, i had stayed up late watching family guy. Which i knew i wasnt allowed to watch adult swim so i was always listening for mom to come close so i could switch the channel in time. Well i was lying on my bed and i heard a floorboard in the hallway creak so i switched the channel thinking it was my mom and acted like i was asleep. I heard my mom enter the room she padded barefoot across the floor and stood beside my bed. Probably checking if i was asleep, then she walked out. I thought she would atleast tuck me in or turn the tv off but the only thing that went off was the hallway light. I waited a couple minutes before sitting up in my bed. Yeah she was gone, but so was most of my light. The only light now was the tv that dimly illuminated the room. I really wished she hadnt turned my light out because my paranoia was beginning to act up. I decided i was being childish and decide to try and go to sleep. I was nearly asleep before i heard creaking on the floor in the hall way. Its mom again i thought to myself, “mom can you turn the hall light back on?” I listened for her response or for her to flip the switch on but heard nothing. “Mom? Are you there?” I heard nothing but silence again. Alright now it wasnt just my paranoia i was really getting creeped out. A few minutes later i heard what sounded like the basement door opening. I listened more, yeah that was definitley the basement door. You know how some doors make very specific noises when theyre being opened or closed? Well that door had a specific sound and i knew that sound. I peeked at the door and saw darkness. Yep the door to the basement was open because even if it was dark in the hallway you could still see the white basement door. I was getting scared, really scared. I looked across the room at my bedroom door and saw what looked like the outline of someones finngers wrapped around the side. By now ill let you know i was scared shitless. I looked at the bed next to mine and saw my little brother asleep. Damn i was wishing i was in his shoes right now but i wasnt. I heard the door to my room creak open a little bit. I looked over and could see a womans face peeking around my door. Everything about her looked normal except for the fact that she had snow white skin. Her lips were blood red and she was smiling at me. The thing that scared me the most was the sinister way she smiled at me when she cocked her head to the side and said ” do you wanna play in the basement with me cayden?” She nudged the door open a little bit, and thats when i saw that her body was hideously deformed. She was croutched down and her back was hunched in different places. she opened the door all the way and i let out an ear peircing scream. My mom must have hurt me because she had grabbed a ball bat and ran down the hallway. The thing came crawling toward my bed hissing “play with me!” My mom ran in and flipped the lights on the thing turned around and before it could do anything my mom cracked its back with the ball bat again and again until it was incapacitated. She then ran over and grabbed my brother who was now crying and grabbed me before running out of the house and to the dollar store around the corner. My mom then called the police. The police searched the entire apartment building, even the basement and found nothing but a rotted matress and feces in the basement floor. There were also assorted small rodent carcasses. The only evidence of it being in my room was the pool of black blood left on my bedroom floor. I described my encounter and what she… or it looked like and the police then questioned my mom and little brother. Turns out the lady who had owned the apartments before she died had a daughter that was mentally ill. They say that she locked her up in the basement and she had to eat rats and sleep on a dirty matress. The police had done a search but never found her. We moved a week later and never went back. Im twenty now and ive recently researched the place and no one has lived there since. I just thought i would share my story. Im still afraid of the dark and havent lived in a house with a basement since. I still never forgot that she called me cayden, and i never found out who cayden was. But the thing that i will never forget was that evil, and sinisterly hollow smile…..

  • Fiver

    The massive block of text is painful to read. Try to split your writing into smaller chunks so it doesn`t cause headaches. You also really need to proof read and make sure you are properly capitalizing certain words like I. The piece is quick and rather boring. While something like this can easily be made short the use of unnecessary details made the story drag on and took away from time that could have been spent building up tension. The piece is not all that unique so you have to work to share your voice in it, your unique style of writing and unique characters. We know almost nothing about this character.

    • Konner

      What Fiver said.

  • Dujuan MrWonderland Sims

    Well it gave me a chill

  • Youtilla Gamer

    This was a very origanl and classic story, reminds me of the old urban ones, you really know your stuff and I hope to see more from you♥

  • boost.

    I got chills