A Doll Making Story (A Hidden Diary)

I’m not the best one writing in English, so, it means that I’m not American, Canadian or British. I’m from a distant country that you don’t know. We don’t have laws here, everything is authorized. I only have a few days to write what I want to tell you. This is a warning. If you read this, I swear, you’re not safe anymore.

Forget about everything that you’ve ever read about it. They’re lying, they’ve ever been lying. If I’m you, I shouldn’t trust them. Just forget. Let me tell you the real story.

I was just a little girl. My parents were always good and kind to me, to be more specific. But my 18th birthday (this year), was very different, let me tell you why. Let’s return to some years ago.

24th of September, 2005

Some of my birthday gifts were dolls. Big sizes, you know, that REALLY big sizes, that makes you think that those dolls are real. In her mouth had a gag, that hides her lips and her teeth. Mom said that I didn’t need to feed her and I must not take out her gag, she’ll do it. I just need to take her to the bathroom and shower her every day. (She was pretty heavy) We used to play every day, she was my doll, I loved her. Months later, Mom and Dad said that they needed to sell her, ’cause they want money to buy some things. I got really sad. She was my only friend.

24th of September, 2006

I received a new gift: A new doll. Same size as the other, in the same style. Heavy, just like the other one. I needed to do the same things as I did with the other. Bathroom, shower, change clothes, etc.

There was one thing that I thought was weird. They didn’t look exactly like dolls, they’re like people like us. A human. I was only a child, I didn’t know the difference between reality and fiction.

September, 2010

When I completed 10 years, my doll disappeared. Mom and Dad said that I was bigger than 3 years ago, they said that I didn’t need this anymore.

24th of September, 2018

8 years later, on my 18 years birthday, Dad invited me to visit his laboratory. There was pretty scary. The laboratory was in a dark street, under a building. I’ve never been on that street in my whole life. The street was dirty, dark and full (I think so) of bad men. What was that place?

We entered the laboratory. The lobby was completely clean, white. Dad was always a good doctor, he had a lot of degrees, but one thing I was right about him: He never talks about his job.

For all the way that we passed, I was a little bit nervous every step. Unlike lobby, the corridor was dark and at the end of it, there was a door and there was light there. Dad opened it and there was a whole surgical center. In the middle of it, a girl. She should be about 10 years old. She didn’t have her whole legs and whole arms. She was sleeping.

Dad took a seat and started talking about his job. He was a Doll Maker. He buys girls at the orphanage – yes, they sell them – and turns these girls into dolls, human dolls with one just objective. They’re slaves.

He cuts their legs under the knees, making them never walk anymore. And after this, he cuts their arms, under their elbows. Their recovery was pretty long, something about 1 month, to everything be right again. After this 1 month, they implant silicone prostheses in the place of the legs and the arms, with an iron bar with some fittings to certificate that they are pretty heavy and stuck in their body. At this time of recovery, Dad puts videos on the television to her, they’re about tortures that they can suffer after the whole “doll process”, and then, in the final, there is the video that he makes, taking off their legs and arms. Those are the videos of their future.

After that, it’s time to take out their voice. Dad, as a very good surgeon, took their voice away, in a surgery to cut the vocal cords out, and after the vocal cords surgery, Dad puts a gag in their mouth, to open just for food. In a week and a half, they are ready to pass-through in one of the last steps: take their vision and their hearing out. And there’s the part that the other people who know about this Doll Makers say: They use lasers to compromise the vision and loud songs in a headphone to compromise the hearing. They’re lying, this is more things than you know. This is not the only method that they use. My dad use to anesthetize them and take off their eyes. He puts glass eyes on them. And the ears? He does the same thing as the others. She put loud songs in a headphone and let it there for hours, or days, ’till they can’t hear as before. To finish the work, Dad puts hooks on their back to hang up the dolls where the owner wants.

Dad buys L****a’s clothes for them. At this point, they can’t walk, move, hear, see… they’re just dolls. Dolls to satisfy other people’s pleasures, only to feel pain. Their lifetime now is just 3-4 years. As I did as a child, his/her owner needs to feed her, shower her, take her to the bathroom to do her necessities. You need to feed the doll with baby food, there are all the nutrients that a person needs.

There are three days that I’m here. Stuck in a room. I’m naked, and I’m afraid. I’m writing this to scare away my fear, for just a moment. I’ve been sold for $458.000. My father sold me to a man who wants to have an 18 years doll, and when he finishes the other doll, my process will start. I already know what are my clothes. A pink dress. White shoes. Pink gag. A corset.

They give me this little diary to write while I’m here. Please, if you read this, stop their work. Stop their work! We need your help please don’t leave me here! I don’t wanna die. Not now. Tell the authorities… this is…

OBSERVATION: The diary was found in some debris of the building. We don’t know the name of the girl, where is she from. We just know her age. Eighteen. We don’t know what happened there. What happened to her father or her family. We just know that this isn’t over.

September 2019