Your Choice

(BACK ROUND INFO) His name was Ace a normal 19-year-old college student who didn’t socialize much. People found him weird for his emotionless face and serious personality. But he always had his best friend Mathew, who was a complete opposite of Ace. They had been best friends since 1st grade and hung out ever since.

*Mathew enters Ace’s room* “Ace!” *Ace takes a break from reading to look at Mathew* “What’s with the yelling?” “We got invited to a small party!”. Ace ignored his news and went back to his book which made Mathew piiiiiisssed. *Mathew grabs Ace’s book* “Atleast come to this party with me” “why should I?” *Ace raises an eyebrow* “Bro people think you’re wierd okay?? If you come to this party-”  “If I Come then what? Nothing is going to change, It would be wasting my time”. “Atleast go for me” *Mathew tried batting his eyes romantically* “I’ll go for you, just stop acting like that before i throw up”. *Mathew gets excited throwing his fist in the air and tells Ace the party is tonight*.

*Ace and Mathew arrive at the party at 8* “Mathew who’s in this small party?” Mathew responds “I know that Julia was hosting and heard that Caleb, Jay, Brad, Sophie, and Lilian were coming.” *Ace looks at the door* “It doesn’t sound like alot of people” “I told you it was a small party” ” Why invite me? Never even heard of these people” ” I dont know but they’re friends of mine, I think you’ve seen them in campus before”. *Mathew knocks on the door while fixing his hair* “HEEEEEEY” Brad says as he opens the door. *Mathew greets him by fist bumping him* Brad turns to look at Ace with a friendly grin. “Wassup bro” Ace mumbles “apparently your ego.” *Brad welcomes both of the guys into the house which smelled like beer and cigarrets* Ace looks at Mathew with disappointed look in his face and Mathew whispers to Ace ” Just hang in here for atleast 3 hours okay?” * Ace sighs as if he was miserable*. 2 Hours of sexual dancing, drinking and laughing has passed in the party. Except Ace was reading on the couch, constantly checking the time.

Nothing was out of the ordinary until the music stopped playing. That was the beginning of a horror night. “Who turned off the music?!” Julia yelled. *Everyone starts yelling for the song to turn back on* Ace was slightly enlightened by what was going on, he even put his book down. “Sophie can you fix the radio or what” Says Caleb. Sophie looks back at Caleb, “it looks perfectly fine but its not playi-” *SCREEECH* A wierd sound coming from the basement. Everyone jumps up from surprise, everyone but Ace who was finally interested. *Ace raises his eyebrow* Julia gets on a chair and tells everyone her plan* ” LISTEN… Guys lets not freak out.. Nothing bad is even happeni-” The lights turn off. “Omg i am not staying for this!!! Says Lilian as she runs off to the kitchen. Evryone continues to freak out and panic until they heard a scream from Lilian. The lights were turned back on instantly and they all rushed to the kitchen, even Ace. There was the body of Lilian pinned on the wall with 5 knives through her arms, legs and stomach. Mathew and the rest were horrified, but Ace was the only one who went up close to examine her body and didnt seem one bit grossed out.

Brad runs to the door trying to open it but it wouldnt budge. “JULIA THIS ISNT F*****G FUNNY ANYMORE OPEN THE DAMN DOOR” *Julia runs to the door and tries to open it then she eventually tries the back door but the same results happend* “There isnt signal” Jay announced. “SO NOW WERE TRAPPED?? IM NOT TRYING TO BE IN A HORROR MOVIE YOU D**K HEADS” Mathew yells. “Julia whats going on??” “yeah, is this a prank??” “we need answers”. Julia starts panicking and says “I have no idea of what to do… This is not a prank, I dont even know what’s going on….I-” “Did anyone here kill Lilian?!” Asks Jay, “We have you surrounded so turn yourself in”.

*An hour passes and no sign of the killer, Ace is interested in solving the mystery* Sophie says” Its clear that no one here would kill our friends, we should stick together and find our way out.” ” We should do that, besides my dad wont be back until next week” says Julia.

It’s clear that Ace wants to solve this by himself which meant exploring the house alone… YOUR CHOICES:

Should Ace stay with the group and see if anything else happens OR Should Ace go by his own plan? Remeber one of your choices will have consequences. Voting is in the comment section

A quick note this story is not anything scary but more of a mystery and choice story. Sorry if Its boring in the beginning, im really new to this but i promise later on the story gets better and i hope it turns into a series. Ps: if anyone can give me tips i’d be thankful. :))

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • Joe LeDonne

    Go with the group

  • Zach Spears

    If you have the time I would say write both that way people could see both storylines play out but if I had to choose I would go with investigating alone.

  • FinalHope

    Stay with the group its much safer

  • GhostHound

    Investigate alone. The rest of the group will immediatly separate as soon as the lights turn of again.

  • NK36

    Go alone. It’s what I’d do.

  • Crasherj

    Stay with group

  • Lauren

    Stay with the group

  • Simon

    God, it’s been a while since I read a hillariously crappy story like this one here. It’s nice to be back.
    As for the next part, have him stay. I’ve seen way too many horror where the characters separate. It wouldn’t hurt to see what would happen if that Ace Attorney lad sticks with the group for once. Hell, with a writing like yours, it’d even be quite amusing.

    • Sami

      Sorry u didnt didnt like the first story, thanks for the opinion( i guess) but i did say im new to this writing thing, we’ll just have to see if the story gets better later on 😒.

      • Simon

        Well, I’ve got nothing better to do, so I might as well give you some tips.
        First off, learn how to structure your writing. Here’s an example on how speech and exposition are usually done in a story:

        One evening the ghost of Yankee Jim heard a weird noise coming from the door of his haunted mansion. “What was that?” he thought to himself as he approached the door.
        -Charles Stiles, Mystery Diners! – someone shouted suddenly from the other side of the sturdy ol’ gate – Release the Drone.
        -Wha…- Yankee Jim uttered just as the blast-wave of the recently launched test-nuke blew the house to pieces, killing him again in the process. And then he diedededed, the end.

        See what I did there? I wrote the direct speech on a new line with a “-” at the start and another “-” whenever I needed to say more exposition. You could also keep putting every character’s line of dialogue between quotations(“Like this.”), but that will just make the whole text crowded and confusing when making a dialogue-heavy story like yours. Use quotations when showing a character’s thoughts. Oh, and no need to put *these things* every time you talk about characters’ actions. You’re writing a story, not a screenplay.

        • Sami

          Actually thanks for the tips:) this was really useful

      • Simon

        Make your characters interesting. Right now I only know that Ace is a very serious person(that’s also weirdly desensitized to violent imagery) and that Mathew is not. As for the rest, they might be sentient cardboard boxes for all I know. Not one of them has done something that defines their personality. And since Part 1 is done, it’s a bit late for one of these “Timmy is a smart and resourceful but pretty shy kid that sexually identifies as a palm tree.”-style exposition dumps.
        It’s alright thought, those are not a good way to introduce your characters anyway. Instead, it’d be better to show their personality traits in a more organic way thorugh their action, speech, attitude and etc. Say, if you have a very bold character that’s not one to back down, have his actions express that – for example, when a weird noise is suddenly heard, have him want to go and investigate on his own. That goes for all characters, not just the protagonist.

      • Simon

        Speaking of the protagonist, I gotta say: You’ve gotten yourself in a pretty tight spot there, Sami. Making a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure Creepypasta on the go is not gonna be easy. You’re obviously not gonna be making a separate part for every tiny decision Ace has to make, like what to respond when asked what’s his favorite GTA game or what shirt he should pick for tonight’s prom.
        He’s gonna have to make these choices on his own. And you’ll hopefully have him make these choices based on his personality. Ace is rational, but cold to people, so he should make choices that reflect that. He wouldn’t randomly start hugging people and being all nice out of nowhere, right?
        But that applies to all characters, so why am I bringing it up? Well, Ace is the PROTAGONIST of the story, and he’s gonna be the one that will be faced with some sort of choice at the end of each part, right? Well, you gotta make sure that all the options he has would be things he would do. Right now this isn’t the case, but imagine that at the end of part 42 of this story, you put a choice that’s something along the line of “Will you be suspicious of this blood-soaked man that has suddenly turned up, or will you give him flowers”. The second option is clearly not something Ace would do(Unless of course he’s gone through some kind of sudden emotional change at some point in the last 41 parts). So yeah, don’t have him do stuff that he wouldn’t otherwise do.

        • Sami

          Dont worry, i’ll be careful with the choices and btw the story wont only focus on Ace but also have other character’s point of views and thoughts, how does that sound??

      • Simon

        Also, it’s important to make each part stand on its own as a story while also progressing the overarching plot. Look at Telltale Games’s games for example. They make episodic Point-And-Click adventure games where the main character has to make choices that will tailor the rest of the story. Each episode in each of their series has its own arc, with a beginning, middle and end and there’s usually a dramatic choice to be made at that end, which then affects how the next episode and the whole story play out. Say, at the end of Episode 1 of their game”The Walking Dead” you have to pick which of 2 characters you’ll save. Whoever you leave behind dies and does not show up again as anything more than a corpse. That’s a dramatic choice not only because it affects the rest of the story greatly, but also because the story builds up to that choice, with it happening just as zombies start breaking in the survivors’ hideout and everything.
        Choosing whether or not to split up from the group as f*ck all has been happening for the last hour or so is not a dramatic choice. It’s just a very sudden way to end the first part of your story.
        And last, but not least – grammar. If we imagined that a story is like a rainy day, grammar would be like the noise of the rain – you wouldn’t really notice or even care if it’s there, but everything will feel off if it’s not. I’m not saying you should go sign up for English lessons or something, since that would be needlessly expensive and annoying if all you want to do is write a story on the internet, but you could always proofread what you’ve written once or twice or even have a friend do it for you. Your story is far from the worst written story I’ve seen here, but it’s still important to watch what you’re writing. Or euls it uil luk samting laik dis.

        Oh, and I also made some dumb jokes in that tiny story I did, so here’s what I referenced:
        Yankee Jim – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4W0WFjaQ5PY
        Mystery Diners – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qectRXY6vGE
        And that’s all, basically.

  • Ellpa Elgae

    How large is the house? If it is large, explore together. Splitting up never works out.