Toxic Lucky


Hey, the names Lucky. I’m a 13 year old boy who is now known as “Toxic Lucky” due to the story I’m bout to tell you. So sit back and enjoy!

The day was warm like it always is in the summer month of July. I was with my dad at the Nuclear Power Plant. I was sitting in his office, which is the control room, when I heard somebody come in through the main lobby. He seemed to have a gas mask on. And keep in mind my parents kept me away from violent stuff. He had what looked like a pistol of some sort. My dad told me that those things are dangerous so I got scared and hid under the control panel. The man walked into the control room and pressed multiple b*****s causing the nuclear alarm to go off. He ran back out pretending to be in a panic. This alarm set off a domino effect. First there was the panic. Then the panic turned into a mob in which multiple people were pushed over the edge of some of the railing making them fall to their death. I started crying and ran out into the mob shouting, “DAD!? DAD WHERE ARE YOU!?” I couldn’t find him and all I heard was the alarm and a robotic female voice saying, “Please evacuate the area in a calm and orderly fashion.” Then when I thought it was over, I saw multiple radiation leaks. My pupils shrunk in fear. I continued to look around for my dad. I then stumbled upon a body which had seemingly been pushed over the railing. I looked through the mask to only see the still image of my father, dead on the ground. I shook in fear and sadness. “Dad… no please!” I felt a weird tremor then I noticed the building was collapsing. I didn’t move. I was too scared to move. I hugged the dead body that used to be my father. I then felt a liquid soak through my black jeans. It was radiation. I didn’t care I just laid there with my father, ready to join him in the special place. Then in one last tremor the building collapsed.

I woke up in the hospital. I didn’t know what time or day it was. The room was covered in plastic and other anti radioactive stuff. I groaned and sat up while I looked around the room. Then a person, I dunno what gender they were but by the feminine sound I figured it was female walked inside in a biohazard suit. I then had a flashback. The time when… my dad died. “M-Ma’am, what time and date is it?” I asked. She responded, “9:07am, July 27th.” My God. I’ve been in the hospital for a week! “Ma’am do you have a patient named, Adrian Shock?” I asked. The lady shook her head. I sighed heavily and asked, “Why am I in this room?” She replied, “You’re a biohazard. You’ve been contaminated with Radiation.” I shook my head with disbelief. “Where are we?” I asked with a sad tone. “In a hospital. Anyway, I need to transfer you to the lab downstairs.” I shook terribly. “W-why!?” I asked with a terrified expression. “To be tested on,” she replied. “NO! IM NOT GOING!” I shouted as adrenaline pumped through me. I got up and grabbed a nearby gas mask and put it on. I rushed over and grabbed my jacket and slipped it on. “Lucky! I need you to stop!” I turned towards her and jabbed my hand through her biohazard suit and grabbed her stomach. “Not until I find the man who made my father die!” I said, trembling. Then I noticed something. The woman’s face it was melting! I pulled my hand back but it was too late. Her entire body was melted off. I looked at my hand and noticed radiation coming off of it. I shivered as I looked at the woman’s clipboard. My eyes widened. This clipboard belonged to my mother! B-But that woman wasn’t my mom. I looked back at the suit and noticed blood on it. I shook with rage. This woman, KILLED MY MOTHER! I could feel thermal radiation coming off me. The building itself started to melt away. I heard screams of pain flood through the hospital. I continued to shake and more radiation came off.

I soon stood in an ankle deep melted pile of concrete and marble. I laughed. But it wasn’t normal. It was… insane. I smiled twistedly and walked away vowing to myself that I WILL FIND THE MAN WHO MADE MY FATHER DIE AND KILL THEM WITH NO MERCY!

  • Elizabeth The Killer

    Well then….good story,it creeped me out,and now i’ll just hide forever

  • Marcus Lee

    Im sorry but i dont think this was written as well as it could be. The characterisation was every where. One minute a sane person the next a maniac on par with the joker. I understand that an emotional trauma was what tripped your character off the bandwagon, but it was not built up properly. For recollection of an incident that causes a character to change like yours, can i reccommend using a god eye’s perspective? Cause writing in a first person perspective is ultimately very difficult as you have to hint at the character’s current state of mind while describing how he was before throughout the entire recollection. I loved the concept though but feel like more can be done

  • SecretProxy54

    Yeah I’m Sorry, I wasn’t able to think right when I was writing this story. I think I’ll do a improved version of the story soon after some of my other stories. Aaaand I have to do some radiation research as well

    • Marcus Lee

      Alright! Hope to be able to read it 🙂

  • Za.

    I would love a sequel other then a rewrite please. As a fellow drifter I look up to your creativity. Try turning this into a book. Thank you!

  • Livikitty

    I loved it! Its original. Its creative. Only think i have a roblem with is it could have been written a bit better and longer, but other than that your a pretty good writer! 🙂

    • SecretProxy54

      Thank you! I appreciate the feedback

  • Amber Izer

    Not bad. Good start.

    • SecretProxy54

      Thank you!

  • Pinkypie

    I like the story it keep me interest but it could have been written a little bit better but I don’t think u should rewrite it I think u should use the advice that was given and on the sequel and keep it going