The Purple Punisher

It was a cold rainy night. I was walking home from my twelve hour managing shift at CeilingMart. I would usually bike but when I got out of work I found my bike utterly smashed from the bottom to the top as if it was sat upon by a two ton weight, and it was covered in what looked like purple fur.

As I was turning a corner I started to hear splashing. Of course I didn’t think anything of it due to it being completely drenched outside, so I kept walking. The splashing soon got faster, and louder, and I was running for my life, and I didn’t know if someone or something was even out there. I was almost home, and whatever it is, is slowing down. I quickly ducked behind my neighbours fence. I swore I could hear it singing. It knows I stopped running, but it doesn’t seem persistent enough to look for me.

As it leaves I take a quick peek through the fence. All I can see is a huge shadow (thanks to my neighbours excessive lighting) and a sliver of purple. I collected myself and walked like the last twenty-nine feet home. I tried to forget what happened while watching some old VHS tapes of my favorite show Star Blazerz when I heard a pounding on the door. “Go away!” I yelled trying to sound tough. Whoever it was busted their purple hand straight through the door. I knew what would happen if I stayed so I ran as fast as I could to my room and locked the door. I jumped in my bed and pulled the covers over my head hoping whatever it was would leave me alone.

For the next two minutes all is silent. As I am laying there hoping that this is some weird dream I hear the loudest crack I’ve ever heard in my life.

”No,” I think to myself, “I have to fight back, besides there is nowhere left to run.” I slowly pull the blankets off. It’s… Barney the Dinosaur? I look down at Barney’s hand. “NO BARNEY PLEASE DON’T SHOOT ME PLEASE BARNEY NO!” Then something really strange happened, he gave me the gun! At this point I’m pretty relieved that I’m gonna make it, but then Barney let out a maniacal laugh.

”Ok kids get ready to sing a song,”

”NO BARNEY PLEASE NO BARNEY BARNEY WHY BARNEY WHY!” I had no choice. I picked up the gun pointed it at his head and pulled the trigger, but instead of it firing a flag popped out that read BANG.

“Only naughty kids play with guns,” he said. “And naughty kids must be punished.”

“But sir, I’m 23,” I replied.

“NO BACK TALK!” Barney shouted. He ripped me out of the bed and chained my hands and feet together. He then flew out the window, with me dangling underneath him hitting my head on every tree.

“W…w…where are we going?” I asked shaking.

“Where I take all the naughty children, the smelter.”

We soon approach an abandoned factory. He flies in through a smoke stack, and turns right. I see an orange-white glow coming from the room. I saw it, the smelter. He flies above the smelter with me about twenty feet above it.


“Oh no, kids like you should burn for your sins,” he drops me.

I wake up in a cold sweat. I feel my forehead, burning hot. “Phew… just one of those weird fever dreams,” I had to leave for an hour, but with this fever I decided to call in sick. I was about to pick up the phone when I saw writing on my hand. I almost fainted when I read it.

Your dream is real.


  • Analogz

    I always thought Barney was creepy

  • Koopicoolest

    This is beautiful. I cried every time.

  • Daniel Di Benedetto

    I was nearly in tears laughing. Thank you. 5 stars.