My Story Part 2

Jeff and mine’s smile got cut off by my mother, that made me hate her more than before. I was on the verge of making friends and then she just pop’s up and ruins it! “Ah! Sweetie this is against the rules of my household!” She said just trying to tick me off more than I already was! “Mom, there is no rules because you didn’t make rules! Because if you did you wouldn’t be able to hurt me or my brother!” I screamed louder than I did to the bully, which was very surprising but it felt good. “Oh, you want to fight your own mother now is it?” She yelled a little bit louder than before, so I decided she deserved to die. “Yep..” I said running at her as I pulled a knife out and stabbed her in the throat and dragged it down and made a V at the bottom. “Wow!” Jeff said applauding and Toby just staring and twitching. “What do you mean ‘Wow’?” I turned around and their expressions changed. “Y-your actually pr-pretty good at k-killing!” Toby said in amazement but, Jeff seemed troubled..? “What is it Jeff?” I asked in a small creepy voice. “I think….you need a makeover!” Jeff smiling big. “Oh! Maybe I do….” I said a little excited, Toby came and helped me up and Jeff, Toby and I walked to a mansion of some sort? “Welcome to the Mansion.” Jeff said smiling bigger. “The mansion is real???” I asked in disbelief, but they nodded and walked me inside. As soon as they walked me in everyone ran up to me. “Jeff who is she?!” Laughing Jack asked grabbing a piece of my hair and placing a candy hair pin. “Why is she all bloody?” Bloody painter said coming up to me and taking my hand. “She’s missing an eye!” Eyeless Jack said excited and hugged me.(Yeah, I am missing an eye, I forgot to tell you! I got shot in the eye with a pistol.) “Guy’s! If you want answers ask her yourself!” Toby yelled loud and clear. Jeff and Toby sat down on the couch. They all just started coming toward me and asked me all different questions. “PLEASE SIT DOWN AND I’LL ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS!” I yelled a little to loud but they all sat near where I sat which didn’t surprise me at all. Laughing Jack raised his hand. “Yes?” I asked. “Who are you and, do you like the hair pin?” Laughing Jack asked politely. “My name is Raven Marie Shadow. I’m 16 and I’m 5ft 2in. And I love the hair pin.” I said smiling a little. Bloody Painter raised his hand after I was done talking. “Yes?” I asked. “Why are you all bloody?” He asked. “I’m bloody because I killed my mother.” I said a little too fast and they were wanting more answers. Eyeless Jack raised his hand after he was done thinking. “Yes?” I asked him a little soft because I was losing my voice a little bit. “Your missing an eye….how did you lose the eye?” He asked almost jumping off of his seat. “I lost my eye because of my mother, she shot my eye and then called the ambulance and said I shot my eye out.” I explained as I walked over and stopped Eyeless Jack from falling out of his seat. “Thanks…” He said leaning back on the couch. Then everyone asked at the same time. “Can we see your missing eye?!” I was surprised and my eye widened. “You sure?” I asked. “YES!” They yelled. “Okay….” I said as I removed my bandages and they all gasped except Eyeless Jack. He looked(Well through inside vision since he doesn’t have eyes.) at it amazed and walked up to me and touched it on the rim of my bone. “Ow..” I said flinching a bit. “Sorry..” He said pulling away his hand. “It’s fine!” I said smiling big. I put my bandages back on. “We should go to sleep.” Jeff said. “Where will she sleep???” Everyone asked in unison. “She can sleep in my room, I have an extra bed in there.” Eyeless Jack said. Everyone nodded in agreement. Eyeless Jack had me follow him to his room and showed me the bed I would be using. “Please make small noises, I don’t like things that are loud..” Eyeless Jack said as he sat down on his bed dozed off. “Okay…” I said putting my headphones on and listened to Sweet Dreams by Emily Browling. I started to sing quietly as I closed my eye. “Whoa…is that you Raven??” Eyeless Jack asked a little confused. I stopped singing and answered the question. “Yes…I was singing. Do you not want me to sing?” I asked a question. “No, it’s fine…but you have a pretty voice…..” Eyeless Jack said  as he laid back down on his bed. I just kept singing Sweet Dreams………

>CONTINUED<

  • ∆_R.H_∆

    Ooh, does eyeless jack have a thing for the main character? Awesome again by the way!!

    • Rose ThePainter

      Maybe, and it’s wonderful that you like it! ;D

  • InsanityChosen

    The main characters mother played a big role in this story and to the background of Raven. The confrontation between the main character and her mother should have been written with great detail and added drama. This was the defining moment for Raven, she chose to be a murderer in this moment. not that it was bad or that it should have been over dramatic but that it should have been shown the importance it truly is and deserves.

    • Storm

      Agreed.

    • Rose ThePainter

      I agree, maybe I’ll update this post! ;D

  • Ellpa Elgae

    Does anyone else see what I see? This story is a lot like A Meet I Will Never Forget part 2. She goes to a giant mansion, meets the fam, a character tells the others to ask her questions themself, they sit down and raise their hands to ask pointless questions, and she gets to sleep in someone’s room. It’s like an exact copy in my eyes. Seriously, if I’m wrong please correct me, but as far as I know, this seemed like a tweaked Meet I’ll Never Forget 2 story.

  • Ellpa Elgae

    Does anyone else see what I see? This story is a lot like A Meet I will Never Forget part 2. She kills a relative, is transported to a giant mansion, meets the fam, someone tells the characters to ask her questions themselves, they sit down and raise their hands, and she gets to sleep in somebody’s room. Heck, there’s even a reference to pistols in both! Correct me if I’m wrong, but in my eyes, these two have way too many comparisons. Also, there are too many grammar errors.

    • Rose ThePainter

      I have not read that story yet, and I’m sorry for grammar errors I write these on my phone. I can tell you this is completely different from that story because I have many different ideas and I want to put them into this. One of my ideas involves fire and a mysterious place in the forest, not the Mansion but something completely different. But thank you very much for bring this up! ;D

      • Ellpa Elgae

        Oh, sorry. I still like your story though.

        • Rose ThePainter

          You don’t have to apologize, I love that you came out and told me this! ;D