My Story and My Life

Hey, the name’s A.A a.k.a Amelia Anderson and maybe some of you probably thinking why am I here?Well I’m gonna tell my story.

I’m a teenage girl who born with heterochromia and also Mind Split Personality but nobody care. I also love anime. I also have an average family, anime loving friends, and an average school until by the age of 18. My mom died because of a plane crash during her business trip to South Korea, my dad turned abusive towards me after my mom’s death, my brother died because my dad abuse him till death, all of my friends moved away and I’m bullied in school because I’m a loner and had heterochromia. Still love anime though.

My dad would abuse me using a broken glass bottle, a whip and physically. My bullies would do what a bully would do in real life. Luckily my phone, headphones, earphones and computer still intact.

One day, I got physically injured by my top bully in my school and rushed to the hospital and also in the same time snapped after what my dad and my bullies do to me after 9 months. When I’m returned from the hospital, I rushed to the kitchen and take two knives and kill my dad when his asleep. I also kill my bullies in the abandoned laboratory in my school after I lured them all in.

I ran back home and pack my bag with my phone, headphones, earphones and computer after I change my clothes. The clothes I’m wearing is a navy blue hoodie with a black t-shirt under it, dark blue jeans, fingerless black gloves, navy blue socks, a black converse and a white surgeon mask with a big ‘X’ on it so nobody would recognised me.

I ran through the forest before I was stopped by Slenderman with Hoodie, Masky and Ticci Toby. Slenderman said ‘I could be a great proxy for him’ and the others agree and then the next thing I know I was in front of a white wooden mansion in the middle of a forest.

Inside of the mansion I was greeted with a lot of creepypasta. You name it and its there. They bombarded me with questions but I remain quiet until Jeff the killer ask who am I because he’s went to kill people and I answered “The name’s A.A aka Amelia Anderson.I’m from California. Age 18. I have Heterochromia so I have black right eye and navy blue left eye and also have Mind Split personality. I have 4 personalities which violent, insane, normal and emotionless and also don’t mess with me because I will pin you to the ground without hesitation.”

Slenderman told me to sleep in the living room while my room is getting fixed. Ben said if wanna play games with him so I said yes. We were playing Street Fighter for a while before we go to sleep. And the rest are history.

  • IronMosquito

    There is a lot of things wrong with this. It’s a huge cliche for one, and there’s a ton of grammatical errors. Also, the character seems like a Mary Sue.
    It wasn’t scary in the least, and was very predictable. Just the same old stuff that’s been done hundreds of times.
    My biggest problem would be the “Slender Mansion.” I know people like the idea of them all living together, but do you really think someone like Ben Drowned would play videogames with some mentally unstable girl?
    Not really impressive and could use lots of work.

    • wifey30

      I’m glad you posted this. Now I won’t waste my time reading the story.

      • IronMosquito

        Hey no prob. I mean the fact that the pic is Jeff the Killer as an Attack on Titan character just gave away how baf this was gonna be before I even started reading. 😂😂 Oh well!

  • wifey30

    Horrible right from the beginning. Wow!

  • hot

    It physically hurts me to read this

  • Cynthia

    Wow! Just wow…😂 God I don’t even know what to say about this. ☠

  • Nxbulochaotic

    This story could use work. I’m not going to hate on it like other comments, though I do agree with what they imply.
    Some advice I have that could help you inprove your writing; try adding more detail to make your story more suspenseful. As a creepypasta story, it’s meant to be scary, therefore, you want to add an element of suspense to give it that feeling of fear.
    Something else that could help to improve the feel of your writing is your grammar. Try improving your grammar throughout the story to make it feel more fluent. If you use propper grammar, your readers will pay less attention to the incorrect usage of grammar, and more to the story itself.

  • Bob Jones

    Seems like parts of the story became little tense


      1 question) how?

  • Zoe Zombie

    Good beginning, bad ending


      How did you find this? I wrote this when I was 12


      Surely nobodies gonna read this


    Good.Laugh at my 12 year old writing skills.

    • IronMosquito

      Man, I saw that you replied to my original comment on here and had to laugh. I’m glad you can see that it was bad! But I hope you improved from it. After all, that’s one of the best parts about writing- looking back and seeing how you improved.

      Sorry if I was harsh in my initial judgement! Have a good one.

      • NARIGATO

        It was horrid. I was a Ticci Toby and a Mask fangirl. My oc is heavily based from Ticci Toby. I also made Masky interested in A.A which is I think quite OOC of him. Now my oc is a bit more original than this thing over here with one inspiration from Sally like her being a angry ghost now. Also her backstory is more logical now.

        • IronMosquito

          I’m glad to hear that you reviewed and changed it as needed. Improving is always great!

          • NARIGATO

            Honestly, I forgot about this until like last month when I was cleaning up my Gmail. I saw a comment and decided to check my old oc backstory and holy crap the cringe. I forgot how terrible my oc’s backstory is and I’m so glad that I changed it.

          • IronMosquito

            Yeah, it happens to a lot of us. Hell, I’ve looked back on some of my stuff and just kinda… eh. It needs work. And then I fix it! That’s actually one of my favourite parts about writing, is editing old stuff. It lets you see how far you’ve come. The same goes for other art forms.