Let’s Have Some Fun

A small child tells his story bravely “it was late at night and i remember sitting in the living room of my grandmother’s house when i heard her scream i ran into her room to see a pale figure hanging over her” he started to cry “I’ll never forget what i heard it say as it looked back at me it’s voice was like a echo it told me ‘don’t worry me and granny are just having fun’ i couldn’t believe it” he looked down “its mouth was stitched shut it soon floated out the window when i checked my grandmother she was dead”. The newspaper took the kids story and printed it off the story got around as more kids came and told the same thing but one of the kids said it’s name “I was in shock as the creature floated over to me and asked if i wanted to know it’s name i shook my head yes and in its echo voice it said ‘FunTimeHunt’ i was completely scared it soon left afterwards”. Like the others their grandparent was dead so the newspaper labeled the stories as ‘kids who survived FunTimeHunt’ and he became a town lore no one wanted to meet. But like all legends someone had to come calling on it so a group of teens heard about where the ghost had died and went there to see if they can summon it. When the group arrived they realized that this was going to be a long night the opened the front door of the building it was old and smelled of death the rotting smell made one of the teens puke on the floor. They went farther into the building the farther in they got the worse the smell got until they cane to locked door they knew this is where the smell was coming from so one brave teen kicked opened the door. There laying on the ground was a rotted body of a once man the brave teen walked to the body just then a hand grabbed him as he felt his heart stop in front of him he saw a man with orange hair and pale skin and like the kids his mouth was stiched shut the teens weak body fell to the floor. The creature looked up at the others they started to run as fast as they could one by one they fell to him except one who managed to get away. He came to the radio station as he told what happened “We didn’t think nothing of the lore but it’s true FunTimeHunt dies exist and we made him mad” through the next two months all ages died from heart attacks the teen was right they pissed him off big time. The bodies kept pilling up till FunTimeHunt got to the teen after he killed the teen the murders stopped and he went back to the elderly but everyone in the town remembers to stay away from that building at all cost.

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    Im hot

  • Shannon Williams

    This was okay, I can see potential. What you need to do, is indent and separate when people talk. It was hard to follow.

  • Faiz Marwan

    Please use commas. Half of the story sounded like a child talking non-stop like a waterfall. And the “brave teen” was emphasized a bit too much.

  • ØSlenderWomanØ

    Its a good story, but it needs fixes with grammar, spelling errors, punctuation, ect.

  • Sinful

    It was a good shoot, but it reminded me too much of Death (The Grimm Reaper) itself, instead of the character you went for. I believe it would be better if you fixed your grammatical mistakes.

  • Simon


  • Haylee

    It was a little hard to follow. I do like the basic idea of the story, its just the lack of proper grammer sort of ruined the story for me. You should also work on description. Just the fact the creature’s mouth had been stitched isn’t enough to have a strong mental image. My image was probably way more different than other readers, which is normal, but the images of characters should basicly have the same concept.