Mom, I miss you so much. My life, hasn’t gone quiet the way we thought it would. I thought, I found the love of my life…and I was wrong. The work of an author, is so hard now too. It helped with the voices for so long…your voice used to have so much control. Then…then the third voice started, telling me to follow him. My fiance? The one you had bad feelings against? Well I ignored those feelings for as long as you told me too. I did, I truly did…but, it didn’t last long. Curious, and under supervision of that third voice, I followed him…in the rain. And you, you kept telling me not to. I would end up torn apart if I did…well I didn’t listen to you like I should. And mom. The sorrow, the absolute pain…you weren’t kidding.
And then, it said to me.
“I can take away your pain.”
I never found something so peaceful, in one of my voices…and so. I listened. I didn’t do anything at first. I didn’t tell him I saw her, I refused to confront him. What was I going to tell him? That I stalked him? All the way to his new lover? Its f*****g crazy.
So, I listened to the calm voice. I went out the next day, bought a tire iron, and a few other things for a car. Things you would need to fix it. Then, I went to the next store over, and I bought a few things…like sleep aids, and candy. The voice was telling me to treat myself. So I did. How nice.
When I left, I wondered why I had bought so much stuff…and it just whispered:
“Let me worry about that. You just do what I tell you.” once more I listened.
And your voice was cut off mom. I never understood why…why this voice over powered yours…but it made me feel so…at peace as if, his adultery never bothered me.
“Go out, while he’s asleep. He will never notice you missing.” this confused me.
“What? Why?” I asked.
“Take the tire iron. Leave. The. House.” I sat on the edge of the bed, and I looked at him. Sleeping peacefully. I haven’t had sleep like that…in so long.
But I still listened mom. I took the tire iron the keys and was, on the way out of the house, when the voice told me, grab a trash bag. I did. As confused as I was I listened.
I walked out the house, I was engulfed covered in rain. I couldn’t remember getting in my car, I didn’t remember pulling over on a deserted road and waiting…
I remember only blinking, and slamming the tire iron over, and over against this persons head. The mesh of hair, skull bits, and pulsating eye. I blinked once more, and I heard laughing. The laughter, wasn’t mine. It was someone else’s…deep within the background…the shadows moved, and I was being watched.
I didn’t stop till I was covered, in pink brain matter, crimson red, and a few splotches of hair. Within the laughter mom, I could hear you screaming. Screaming for me to stop. But I couldn’t. I had my first taste of blood…and I wanted more.
I couldn’t kill him…the police would go to me first, and take me. I knew I would crack. The more random the better.
At least that’s what the voice tells me. But I wanted more, more and more and more…the blood tasted so good mom. I miss you. But I miss this more already, and I just commited my first murder. I can hear you screaming at me, but I can ignore you now mom.
I think I have a problem…but I don’t care. I, listened to the voicd, telling me to wait, and I unfortunately have too…
I want to taste his blood mom…I no.
I can’t kill again…
Mommy…please….please help me.
I don’t understand what I did. Why did I do it?
The shadow, the voice…I’m ripping my hair out…every time I don’t listen mom. He makes the pain so much worse…I…I’m so scared mommy…
Mommy, why have you stopped talking to me? Why can’t I hear your voice anymore?