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The Rower: Meeting The Family

When I met Jane, I only thought one thing.

“What a b***h.”

How many people do you know that will kill someone for killing the person they hate the most. Sally basically adopted me so slendy agreed — Jeff didn’t like that idea, Jeff the Killer that is. Sally always has claimed Jeff as her own brother but when I came in, he didn’t really like it that much but I’m still on his side. Maybe that’s why Jane hates me so much, I’m always trying to be friends with Jeff so Jane takes me as an enemy.

Then Zalgo came in. Man… was he hard to make friends with. He absolutely despised me at first sight. Then came hunting time. It was probably the most secret thing that the creepypastas do. No one knows about it because if any one did, then they would be hunted down. But I am still wondering why they are afraid of that. If we live in the Suicide Forest of Japan, no one dares come in and if they do, we mess with their minds a little.

But during the hunting… that’s when the real trouble came in:

1. Jeff is a little prankster.
2. And Zalgo has nothing but murderous intent towards me.

So Slenderman remind me to never hunt with the Fam again.

Boy, I have to say Sally got really attached to me really quick. It’s because our story’s are similar. Her uncle r***d her then killed her when she told her parents — my uncle waited till my dad died then killed me after refusing to live with him. Well let’s just say that a 6-year-old attached to a 16-year-old kinda give me the pleasure of being an older brother with all the ups and downs. And sonic.exe is amazing, he’s an amazing gamer and likes to pull pranks on Ben drowned and then get them in return. Someday, I wonder what it’s like to be both a cursed game AND computer virus at the same time. I’m jealous, but when they’re cool, they’re cool.

I decide to learn a little about sonic.exe online, with his permission of course, and discovered a band called Skillet and didn’t even learn they were a Christian band until Toby told me. Ticci Toby that is. Speaking of him, I have the best story ever.

One day Toby was eating waffles, of course, and made the mistake to let Jeff and Smile cook them. Well, Jeff had Smile go out and get some shrooms and put them in the blueberry waffles, and Toby had visions of waffles all day. Toby didn’t learn and Jeff put acid in the waffles and Toby had more waffle visions. Toby is a big smoker and makes his own cigarettes, Jeff replaced all the tobacco with weed, and Toby sang a little tune…

 

Waffles

Waffles

A wonderful dish

The more you eat

The more you fish

The more you fish

The better you feel

So let’s have waffles

For every meal!

 

And the original song is…

 

Beans

Beans

A wonderful fruit

The more you eat

The more you toot

The more you toot

The better you feel

so let’s have beans

for every meal

 

So moral of the story, don’t give Toby drugs. Slenderman made sure of it… censored


Author’s Note: Well that’s the end of the story, and like I said in the last one. If you want to make a fan story, email me at found.you.2.3.4[at]gmail[dot]com and then I’ll either post it or give you the permission you need. Thank you and hope you enjoyed this segment of… THE ROWER… ba ba ba. See ya soon bai.

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