The Case of Lilian Dylans


Three teenagers were charged with the murders of 17-year-old Lilian Dylans after security footage from a store window shows the four teens, including Lilian entering the nearby forest on the night the she went missing. An hour later three of the four returned, Dylans not among them. Police suspect they murdered the her after a dispute, as screaming was heard from the woods. The suspects include Zachary Dylans, 15, Thomas Ramones, 17, and Adrian Cromson, 16.

Story: Lilian Dylans best friend died at age 17 in a fire. The body was never found but that is what the police suspected. She always believed he was alive. It wasn’t the a blind hope of a girl mourning her best friend, but a feeling somewhere. Almost like twinstinct, you know like twins can feel each other’s presence. She knew he was alive. Somewhere. One day she sat at her desk during math class, she had an idea. She was going to find him. No this isn’t gonna be a little chick-flick thing where she finds him and realized she was in love with him this whole time. No. She could never think of him like that. He was more of a brother than her real brother ever was, considering her real brother tried to kill her when she was 13. He went to a mental hospital for a year. Three years after he was released, Lilian’s best friend, Toby, died.

Lilian knocked on her brother Zach’s door.

“Hey Lily. What’s up?” he asked half asleep, as it was 11 P.M.

“Get dressed and grab a flashlight. Were going to the forest.” Zach had learned not to try to question his sister’s antics since what happened a few months ago.

“Can Adrian come?” he asked.

“Yes. I’ll call Thomas, too,” she replied. Lily disappeared from the doorway as she raced down the long hallway to her room. They both got ready and called up their friends, unaware of the horrors that would soon unfold.

The four of them disappeared into the forest that Toby was last seen. They trampled through the fallen branches and leaves. Lily knew he probably wasn’t in this forest, but as they entered she heard a loud static. She looked around to see if the others heard it but it seems they didn’t. She was about to suggest leaving and doing this in the morning, until she had a very strong urge to keep going. As if someone, or something, was pulling her deeper into the woods. She knew he was here. She had to find him.

“Hey maybe we should split up?” Thomas suggested. “Me and Lily in one group and you two in another.” Adrian and Zach agreed, but Lily did not.

“What are you doing?” she asked Thomas, annoyed. But they ignored her and started heading in opposite directions. And Lily followed.

Thomas looked over at Lily. “Hey so maybe we should just forget about that Tony guy and head back to my house?” Lily turned to him. She felt anger consuming her very being.

“What? You agreed to help me find my friend, who is named Toby by the way, and then you try to hit on me?” she asked, her voice becoming furious.

“I’m just saying, he probably isn’t here if he is even alive,” he said, matter-of-fact-ly. She heard the static again. Thomas saw something behind her. Like tentacles reaching out from behind a tall tree. He was about to yell at her to run, but before he could, Lily’s fist shot into his face.

He staggered backwards reeling in pain, blood dripping from his nose. He saw her eyes change from green to blue, which was common for her. Nut what made it truly terrifying was the look in her eyes. It was a look of a crazy person. She silently turned around and gazed at the tall figure that was standing behind her. She reached her hand out and that man, that thing, took it. He looked at Thomas. Even thought it didn’t have eyes. Or a face. It was blank. Then the figure turned away, leading Lily deep into the forest.

Thomas ran through the forest searching for Zach and Adrian. When he found them he rushed to tell them the story. Right before they were about to go find he, they heard a loud, inhuman screech and saw Lily charging at them with her pocket knife in her hand, open. They screamed and ran out of the forest. She didn’t follow. They were safe. For now.


15-year-old Zachary Dylans was found murdered after parents heard a loud screech coming from his room. He was found stabbed to death in his bed, most likely while he slept. There are no suspects.

A day after Zachary Dylans was found murdered, 17-year-old Thomas Ramones was found dead in similar circumstances, including the inhuman scream heard before discovery of the body. There are no suspects, however the killer is being dubbed “Banshee”


18-year-old Jackson Queens was attacked by the “Banshee” while walking through town at night. His attacker appeared to be a blonde female with green eyes that changed color. Queens’ claims he would have died if an off duty officer had not shot her in the leg after her inhuman scream caught his attention. The attacker fled into the woods after being shot. Queens’ has identified the woman as his old classmate Lilian Dylans, 18, who has been missing and believed dead for almost a year.

  • Valindrisa

    Wow I totally remember the slenderman they murdered a friend to slenderman nice story really good I believe it also

  • Fiver

    Boring, bland, and unoriginal. The piece would have been more interesting if it was just a selection of news paper clippings, some of which seem not to line up with the rest yet have some hidden link. It would have added mystery and explained such a selectively descriptive style. The ‘story’ piece of this story builds no character, adds no depth, and ruins what could have been an ok piece. You could have had so much fun with it if you used only news paper clippings and filled on details through them. Doesn’t, “Queens has identified his attacker as his ex-classmate Lillian Dylan, assumed to be decease after her disappearance almost a year before the attack. ‘It’s her. I swear it’s her. She was definitely worn down, a bit dirty and thinned, but I know Lillian. That (insert shade) blonde hair, those green eyes that aren’t so green in the right light, that has to be Lilly.’ Queens frantically told our reporter”, fill in details a lot more smoothly then the broken up information you have forced in. The quote is also more true to a newspaper style. Cut out the characters that aren’t yours and focus on your own creation. You have a mystery disappearance and then sudden reappearance of someone; there is so much you can play with there and you throw it away to include your favorite characters and to ride off their popularity to get more attention for your own character.

    • Nightmare_fuel 13

      I very much agree with this and I may include your idea when I do a rewrite. Thank you for expressing your opinion on my piece.

      • Fiver

        You’re welcome.

    • battlepikapowe4

      Jesus Christ! It’s the internet not a fancy book club for rich kids

      • Fiver

        Believe it or not you don’t have to be rich to have a basic understanding of writing. What I wrote is a critique not a discussion, welcome to the world of writing.

        • battlepikapowe4

          You make it sound like he needs to write it like shakespeer. It’s creepypasta not that book you were forced to read by your teacher inorder to write an essay. Writing like that takes away the scary factor and makes it boring as hell.

          • Fiver

            I’m concerned by the books you’ve read for school if you think my critique is calling for a mimicry of Shakespeare’s style or for a story of literary merit equivalent to those you read in higher level English classes. I have said nothing about theme or imagery and I’ve said very little on character development and plot. I am not treating this like an English project, rather a story written for fun.
            The piece isn’t scary to begin with while limiting certain details and highlighting others through the not-so-objective view of a newspaper that only has theories rather than the actual truth can be rather creepy and unsettling. That style I suggested also adds a layer of realism that increases the creepiness of a piece.

          • battlepikapowe4

            well you can’t say it’s unoriginal. There aren’t many slender stories were the main protaginist gets turned into a proxy and kills the other protagonists.

          • Fiver

            It’s actually rather common. Also the story has a focus on a character that isn’t the author’s nor is the character common folklore or part of mythology. Toby doesn’t appear but is a driving force in the plot and that takes away from the author’s own work.

        • Rose Morrison

          Well said Fiver.

  • battlepikapowe4

    I loved it! Keep up the good work!

  • Rose Morrison

    I liked your premise. I agree with Fiver’s ideas as being something different for you to consider. I see you are going for a rewrite, please may I beg one thing from you? Please, please, edit, edit, edit, get rid of all those spelling and grammatical mistakes. It much improves the flow of a story. I look forward to more from you, keep up the good writing.

  • Samuel Di Benedetto

    Just a head’s up… I am a twin… “Twinstinct” does not exist :/