The Black Awakening

Samire just woke up. A fluid flowed slowly down her cheeks as she opened her eyes after the long nap. They were tears, tears of confusion, and loneliness. The girl felt itchy on the head and scratched with her long fingernails as she looked closely at where she was. At her side was her night table, with above a lamp and her special sleeping pills. There was nothing out of the ordinary; she was in her room like any other day, with the difference that she felt a weight in her heart. Something was speaking to her, but she could not interpret the metaphors the universe told her.

Samire looked at her clothes. It was the same as the day before, but she wondered when she fell asleep so suddenly. She hated sleeping without her pajamas, so it was strange to wear clothes when she woke up.

She had many theories about what might have happened. Sometimes she liked to get drunk with her friends until she forgot everything, and that was the first thing she thought about.

She left the door of her room and found the access hall to the stairs. This one was with the lights off, and everything was very silent. Samire felt a thick energy, a chill. She went downstairs avoiding the bad feelings she was constantly feeling, in order to find her parents and ask them what happened yesterday.

It was strange that at 10:45 am they were not awake preparing breakfast. Usually, they were, and if not, her father was reading the newspaper with his orange slippers on the sofa in the living room.

When she did not see her parents there, she went to the room where they were sleeping. The bed was stretched and impeccable, there was no presence of them anywhere, and this made for an even stranger feeling in Samire.

There Samire heard the chimes. The ones in the church near the house, and she remembered that her parents were going to pray whenever they could. The girl ran up the stairs quickly until she reached her room. Once she did, she opened her closet and grabbed a coat. she put it on and went out. She walked with long steps on the path to the chapel, and as soon as she arrived she opened the door of it.

She saw a crowd of people in the stands with their heads down or sobbing. At the end of the hall, there was a father praying to God. He raised his hands and proclaimed words that, Samire did not listen for being aware of other things.

She saw her father’s bald spot in the front row, but before she could reach it, a lot of men were carrying a coffin. Samire worried a lot, needed to know who had died. She was afraid that it was her 78-year-old grandmother since she was the person she respected the most in the world. She was her greatest admiration.

She approached the coffin, which had a view of glass, and burst into tears desperate as her father exclaimed:

-Oh daughter, why did you kill yourself!

  • Puddin Tane

    You keep going back and forth between him and her. Is Samire a boy or girl? You need to decide in order to make your story flow more smoothly. Plus, try reading your story aloud to yourself. You’ll be able to hear if it makes any sense. “The lamp above”, I think you wrote. Above what?

    • BlackCatt Stories

      Thanks, I´ll keep trying!

  • Bonnie Manz

    Honestly this story is very confusing. It doesn’t make any sense and it’s not at all scary. You also need to work on your grammar. But at least you tried. Keep working on it you will get it.

    • BlackCatt Stories

      Thanks for the comment. I´m not american, I speak spanish so translating is complicated. But thanks I´ll keep trying.

      • Puddin Tane

        That explains a lot. Thank you. I’m sorry if I came across as rude. I’m just very tired of reading stories written very sloppily by people who can’t take the time to proof read what they write. I’m always self editing everything I write and also doing it to everything I read. I cant help but wonder if it’s a bit of OCD. And, no, I’m not making fun, I’m serious about that. I was raised by a perfectionist! Aaahhh! Ok. Getting down off my soap box. Sorry. Didn’t mean for that to happen.

        • BlackCatt Stories

          Don´t worry 🙂

  • JaneTheReader

    Sometimes unclear and the changing of gender is confusing, but overall a good story.