Silent Scream (Rewrite)

Author’s Note:

Hey guys, so if any of you know/remember the origin of my OC Silent Scream this is a rewrite of her origin story. I don’t like where I headed with that, especially how I did the cliche “killed whole family and Dad abused me” thing and I felt I made her too OP back then, so I want to change it. Plus, I feel as if this story (which I actually planned out instead of improvising) will fit better with her. Anyway, thanks for reading the note (If you’re still here) and feedback in the comments is very much appreciated. (I think I’m still a crappy writer, but I’ll try) And for those of you who are annoyed at me for continuously writing about my character, trust me when I say I got a plan and she’s included.


Rose walked quietly to the grave yard, clutching the box the stranger gave her tightly. The memories of the last month were fresh in her mind “Rose! Look out!” *BANG!* “No!” She shook her head, not wanting to relive what happened. Sadly, what she had planned revolved around exactly that.

The trees finally cleared up to reveal a graveyard. She started walking in the direction of where they buried her bestfriend, Charlie. The funeral had been three weeks ago, but Rose was furious that Charlie’s murderer is yet to be caught. More than that though, she misses hanging out with her, talking about their problems, joking around, etc. If she was honest with herself, Charlie was almost like a sister to her.

Rose finally arrived at Charlie’s tombstone, sitting down in front of it. She pulled something out of the box she carried; An Ouija board. A stranger dressed in a patchwork purple cloak had given it to her. “Use it at your own risk…” They said, then dissapeared. She had no idea how to use one, so she asked her Mom if she knew anything about it.

“Show me it,” her Mother demanded, “I know you have one.” Rose gulped, reluctantly pulling it out. Her Mother’s eyes widen in fear, as if she had witnessed the most horrible thing in the world. “Get rid of it, now.” Her brothers were watching from the hallway, Ricky with a concerned look on his face, Victor snickering because the ’emo vampire’ had gotten in trouble. “Okay…” Rose spoke quietly, tugging on her chocker.

Her mother didn’t know she went to the graveyard instead of the dumpster on the outskirts of the woods. Rose placed the board between her and the grave, holding the heart shaped pointer in her hand. Granted, she had little to no idea on how to do this, but she was determined to contact Charlie with the help of the board. She took a deep breathe to steel her nerves, then proceeded to place the pointer on the board.

Looking at the board now, she realized that she should’ve brought a notepad and pen with her. ‘Guess yes and no questions for now…’ Placing her finger on the pointer, she asked out loud, “Charlie Grayson, can you hear me?” It was a minute before the pointer moved to ‘yes’. A smile started to form on the fourteen year old’s lips. She had her friend back, sort of. “I’m sorry we couldn’t talk earlier,” she said.

After a few more questions, Rose decided that she should leave before her mother gets suspicious. She ended the session, saying goodbye to Charlie and promising to return as soon as possible. Then she ran back home and climbed into her room through the window, hiding the board in the closet. She went back to the front of the house to enter through the front door, as not to raise any questions from her family. “Mama, I’m home!” She announced over the yells of argument from her brothers. ‘They’ll never stop fighting,’ Rose thought bitterly to herself, heading to her room.

. . . . .

From then on, Rose would sneak out at night to go to the graveyard. It was pleasent to talk to her friend again, to act as if nothing had happen. Although it was difficult with the limited communication, she was still willing to work with what she got, but still, a part of her wanted to be able to see and hear Charlie again.

Currently, she was setting up the board to talk to her friend again. “Charlie, are you there?” She asked. The pointer moved onto ‘no’. ‘That’s odd..’ Rose thought, ‘Is she mad or something?’ “Okay then, who am I speaking to?” There was a bad feeling forming in the pit of her stomach, but as soon as the pointer started to move she ignored it and started writing the letters.

The letters spelled the name Zalgo. ‘That’s an interesting name…’ she thought. “Is there a reason you contacted me?” The pointer moved again and this time the message was “I can help you see and hear your friend again” Rose thought for a sec, tugging her choker. ‘This could be a trap… or maybe this “Zalgo” person is trying to help.’ She thought. In the end, wanting to be with Charlie again outweighed the logic in her mind. “How?” She asked.

Several minutes later, Rose had the instructions she needed and proceeded to do the ritual. She stood up, holding the pointer to her eye and looking through it. Then she started speaking, “Mortals, young and old, passed or murder, intended or accident, I call to you.” She started to hear many voices whispering at once, but she couldn’t make out what they were saying, not yet at least.

“I wish to see behind the curtain that separates the living and the dead, to pierce the veil in my mind, to see the ghosts of the dead.” Wisps of light started to form all around her, slowly shifting into humanoid figures. The whispers had gone up a notch, getting louder by the second. Then Rose said something that wasn’t in the instructions. Et tamen reliquistis me et nunc Zalgo redde!”

The voices, who she had figured belonged to the ghosts, were now screaming. “Stop!” Don’t trust him!” “Run!” “He’s a demon!” “Quit before it’s too late!” “You can’t escape…” “You’ve signed your death wish…” “Why’d you do it…” “Should’ve stop when you had the chance…”

Rose’s head started to pound in her ears, vision starting to waver. She covered her ears with her hands, desperately trying to block out the eardrum bursting noise. It was getting harder to breathe, to think, to do anything. The last thing she heard was a demonic sounding voice saying, “Traitor,” then she blacked out.

. . . . .

Everything hurt. Her head felt like it was going to burst open any second now. Slowly, she opened her eyes and took in her surroundings. Her room. Somehow she had made it back here last night. Rose carefully got out of bed, one hand rubbing her temple, the other supporting her weight on the nearest object.

She made her way down stairs to get some food and possibly a few painkillers for her killer headache. She had made it to the kitchen, swallowing the pills she retrieved, when a familiar voice caused her to nearly choke on them. “Hi Rose!” The voice greeted.

Rose turned her head to find Charlie standing nearby, the bullet hole still on her chest, blood seaping onto her pink and white striped sweater. “I…. Cha-… Wha…,” the words were caught in her throat. Cautiously, she reach out a hand to touch her, only to be pulled into a hug. With tears pricking the corners of her eyes, she whipsered, “Y-you’re back… you’re finally back.”

“Hey R, who ya talking to?” Ricky, who had just entered the kitchen, asked. “I’m talking to Charlie,” she answered, pulling out of the hug. Ricky raised an eyebrow. “Uh,” he began, “Y’know she died like a month or two ago right?” Rose could feel her ears burning, “I-I, ummm, ye-eah, but- you know I’m weird alright!?” She stuttered out. He shook his head, moving to the fridge, “You sure are.”

. . . . .

Rose spent the rest of the day hanging out in her room with Charlie, later heading out for a walk with her. The walk was calm and quite, yet she couldn’t help but feel as if someone was watching her. The closer they got to the graveyard, she couldn’t help but notice more ‘people’ around, which is saying something since her house was awfully secluded. The appearances of the people varied from young to old and terribly injured to nothing wrong, at least at first glance.

She was excited to talk to more ghosts, she would’ve gone straight up to one, if it wasn’t for Charlie’s comment. “We should be getting back, it’s going to be dark soon,” she said. Rose didn’t like being out at night. It wasn’t that she didn’t like the dark, in fact she adored it, yet that was the time when the feeling of being watch heightened, causes her nerves to skyrocket. Reluctantly agreeing, they headed back to her house.

That was their routine for a while, hang out at Rose’s house, head out for a walk, and return before they met another ghost. Rose felt as if as Charlie was steering her away from other ghosts on purpose, like there was something she wanted to hide, yet Rose never bothered to ask her. She trusts that Charlie would never lie to her. Then, Charlie asked her for a strange favor. 

“Common Rose, I know you want revenge,” She pleaded, “Plus, I already had the stuff you’ll need!” Rose fiddled with her choker, “I don’t know… what if I get caught?” Charlie rolled her eyes, “Don’t worry, you’re a ninja when it comes to sneaking around, so I’m sure you won’t get caught.” Then she added, “Don’t you trust me?”

Rose nodded quickly, not wanting to upset her friend. “Will you do it then?” Another nod. Charlie perked up almost immediately, reaching under Rose’s bed for something. She pulled out a box. Inside was a pair of silver colored daggers and a black, leather steampunk mask, decorated with golden spikes. The mask would only cover her lower face, but with her hair covering her left eye, it might be enough that no one recognizes her.

Later that night, the pair snuck our of the house and arrived at a rather normal looking neighborhood. Nothing seemed to be out of place, at least in the dark. Charlie dragged Rose up to one of the houses. “Are you sure this is the place?” She asked. “Yeah,” Charlie replied,”Now wait here a sec.”

Charlie went straight through the front door. A second later there was a soft ‘click’ and the door swung open. “This way,” she commanded, leading Rose up the stairs of the home. They came upon the room of the murderer; A red haired woman sleeping soundly in bed. Luckily for them, it appeared that she lived alone.

“This is the person right?” she whispered to the ghost,”You’re not lying?” Charlie rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest. “Yes now her on with it,” the ghost hissed, “Slice her throat already.”

Rose covered the woman’s mouth with a gloved hand, raising a dagger to her neck. “Don’t scream…” She whispered. She didn’t know if she was talking to the woman or herself. Suddenly, he woman’s green eyes snapped open as the dagger pierced her skin. The sickening sound of the blade slicing through flesh filled the room, and soon the life in the green eyes dissapeared.

Rose was sure her gloved hands were shaking. She watched as the blood flowed out from the woman, staining the bed sheets a dark crimson. It was official, she had killed someone. There was a small whitish blue wisp light forming over the woman, soon becoming a replica of the red head. Charlie tugged on her hand, “Let’s go.” Rose didn’t hesitate to follow; She didn’t want to stay with the ghost of her victim.

. . . . .

Many nights later, Rose had decided to travel to the graveyard while Charlie was away. Charlie had still been steering her away from any and all other ghosts, and her curiosity kept growing as the days went on. She was going to go see if there was something she was hiding from her.

She had ran most of the way there, partly because she was afraid Charlie might decide to visit her in the night, and partly because she was feeling like someone was following her. She stopped at the entrance to catch her breath, only to nearly jump out of her skin from a voice coming from right behind her.

“GO TO SLEEP!” Rose jumped and turned so fast that she lost her balance and fell. She look up quickly to find that the voice that startled her belonged to a ghost boy, about her age, laughing at her. He wore a black and red tartan bomber jacket,  dark green cargo pants, and black sneakers. His limbs were covered in bandages, his face covered in small cuts, and there was a bit of blood caked into his light brown hair.

“So the rumors are true,” he said, “You did deal with Zalgo.” He offered her his hand, “I’m Oliver.” Rose reached up to take it, but her hand passed through his. Oliver frowned, “Oops, forgot about that.” Rose stood up, dusting off her pants. ‘Wait, how come I can touch Charlie but not this dude?’ She thought.

“I’m Rose,” she said, “Why’d you scare me like that?” Oliver looked away, rubbing the back of his neck, “I kinda wanted to make a good first impression, and I heard someone else shout that to someone, so I wanted to try it…” Rose couldn’t help but smile, this boy seemed nice. ”

“You wouldn’t happen to know a Charlie Grayson, would you?” She asked. Oliver’s eyes widened the minute she said that name. “Yeah, I do. She not here anymore because she said her friend abandoned her, then she went all pyshco over it and went away.” Rose was puzzled. Hadn’t she been hanging out with Charlie? ‘This makes no sense… unless,’ realization had hit her and she knew what she needed to do to prove her theory.

“I have to go,” She said, running towards home. “Wait! Don’t go that way!” Oliver called, but she ignored him. She had to get the heart shaped pointer from the Ouija board. As she ran, a ringing noise filled her ears, getting louder the closer she got to home. At first she was able to ignore it, but soon it was so loud that it was causing her head to hurt. Then, she ran into something. At first she thought it was just a tree she didn’t see, but looking up she saw it was an very tall person, only they had no face. “What… in… the..” was all she manage to say before passing out.

. . . . .

She woke up in her bed once again, barely being able to remember the events of last night. When her head stopped pounding in her ears, she got up and searched for the pointer like she had planned to. “Rose, you’re awake! I thought you were a goner,” Charlie, who had appeared out of nowhere, spoke.

Rose had finally found the planchette, and she turned to face her ‘friend’. “Charlie,” she began, “Have you been lying to me?” Charlie looked shocked. “I would never-,” she saw the pointer in Rose’s grasp, “Hey, can I see that for a sec?” Rose glared fiercely, “No.” Charlie’s eye twitched, “It’ll just be a second.” “I said no.”

Charlie seemed to be angered by her lack of compliance. “Give it to me,” she spat, venom lacing her voice, “now.” Rose put the pointer up to her eye, looking through it. What she saw was a jet black demonic being, with several mouths and blood red eyes. When she lowered it, they were gone. “Where they g-” she was cut off by a shove from behind, causing her to crash into the bed frame.

She hissed in pain, clutching her wounded side. Before she could do anything, hands wrapped around her neck, raising her into air and slamming her against the wall. “I was wondering how long it would take you to figure it out,” the demon, who she could only guess was Zalgo, said. Rose tried to scream for help, but no sound came out. Zalgo was smirking at her, “Ah, Elizabeth, I thought you would’ve learn by now to check the cost of a spell before performing it.

“Who’s… Eliza..” She chocked out. She closed her eyes, weakly raising her hands to attempt to pry off his. It was no use, he was obviously stronger. ‘This is it then, this is how I die,‘ she thought. Suddenly, the tight grip on her neck dissapeared, and she fell to the ground. Groaning, she opened her eyes, carefully feeling her neck. I think I’ll have more fun playing with your sanity instead,”A voice spoke.

. . . . .

Two months had passed and Zalgo hadn’t broken his promise. Malevolent ghost had started entering her room at night, screaming insults at in her ear, preventing her from sleeping. Rose had tried turning her headphones up all the way to block out the noise, but it was no use, somehow they managed to be louder. Sometimes, if she was lucky, the would stop screaming for a short time, though only if she killed for the ghosts, yet in doing that there was still a chance she would gain another malevolent ghost.

The times she did sleep, she had horrible nightmares, the most common being burned in a fire and shadow people with red eyes tearing her limb from limb. Those dreams felt so real that she could feel what happened to her. Her parents noticed the dark bags under her eyes and had tried to help her sleep, even going as far as giving her sleeping pills. After the third nightmare, she stopped taking them.

The cherry on top off all this was that the thing from the woods was stalking her. She was sure of it. On the nights she would lay awake, she found herself staring directly at it through her window. Whether the monster had anything to do with Zalgo, she was unsure of, but she didn’t risk going outside at night to ask it.

Tonight, she laid awake on her bed, still in her normal day clothes, headphones up high in a pointless attempt to block out the scream. “KILL YOURSELF!” “IDIOTIC WASTE OF SPACE!” “GOOD FOR NOTHING B*****D!” “F*****G TRAITOR!” “YOU CAN’T ESCAPE!” “WE HAUNT YOUR DREAMS!” NO ONE CARES!” “MISTAKE!”

“Why won’t you stop…” She whispered, sounding broken. All of a sudden, her door opened and Ricky entered. “R..,” he said sleepily, “turn down your music, I can hear it from my room.” “Kill him,” a ghost whispered in her ear. “Kill him and we’ll stop for now…” Slowly, Rose rised from her bed, walking towards her younger brother. “R, what are you-,” Ricky began, but was cut off as Rose gripped his neck tightly. She squeezed as hard as she could, listening to the sounds of him struggling to breathe. “Don’t scream,” she whispered. Soon his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he completely stopped struggling.

She let go of him, letting him fall to the ground with a loud ‘thud‘. “What have I done…” Rose whispered. “Why’d you do that?” “He did nothing to you…” ” You should’ve died…” ” You deserve to be in pain…” “…Maybe you’re right….,” She whispered. She turned to her closet and pulled out her mask and daggers. Sitting on the bed, she took a dagger and started slicing up her arms. ‘I deserve this,’ she thought bitterly. A smile grew in her face, tears falling from her eyes as she cut through the fabric of her gray hoodie, marking her skin. She started to laugh as she did the deed, the pain soothing her in a way.

Soon, Victor had entered her room, woken up by all the noise. “G******n emo, f*****g shut up-” he stopped talking the minute he say what Rose was doing. Rose stopped laughing and looked at him. “They’re telling me to kill you too,” she whispered. She shot up from the bed and stabbed his shoulder, forcing him into the halfway. Instead of finishing the job, she ran down stairs and out the house into the woods.

She was sure Victor screamed something along the lines of, “ROSE GET BACK HERE!”, but she just laughed and continued to run away. She was heading towards the graveyard yet again, but was stopped as she found the faceless man. There was a moment of them just staring at each other, until a ghost whispered to her, “Run young mortal, they’re coming for you. Your music may block the sirens, but we can still hear them, just like you can still hear us,” and she took off. A few moments later and she ran into the creature again. ‘What?’ she thought, yet she didn’t stop running. If she was going to die, she wanted it to be in the graveyard. The ringing had started up and this time when she ran into the creature, she stopped.

“What do you want!?” She hissed out. “I’ve been watching you, child,” the creature somehow spoke. Rose looked around at first. She didn’t know where that voice came from, but once she realized the creature is speaking telepathically, she stopped. “Come with me and become my proxy… unless you’d prefer to die,” With that, black tendrils shot out from the creature’s back. “Closer child,” a ghost whispered, “Mortals are getting closer and they brought their barking monsters with them...” Even if she managed to escape the creature, there was still the chance the police would catch her. “Alright, I’ll do it,” She said. The creature stretched out his hand and Rose took it. “By the way, what’s your name?” She asked. “Slenderman.”

  • Tristan Evans

    That was a well-cooked pasta. The only thing that seemed off was the introduction of slender man to the story. That’s not an entirely bad thing. Just confused on how he relates to ‘Zalgo’. It would be awesome if you elaborated on why the real Charlie left. And maybe. Maybe she could return to save the MC from zalgo. But I understand why you didn’t because that would drastically change the story. Thank you :3

  • Puddin Tane

    You keep changing your verb tenses from past to present making it hard to follow. I suggest you read this aloud as there are several grammatical errors in it. Hopefully you’ll be able to spot them that way. Sentence structure and punctuation are ok. The story was pretty good. But I agree with Tristan, bring Charlie back in it some how. 3 stars

  • Trent Mcmindes

    This was amazing, I love that you had slenderman in the end. Hope there will be a sequel!

  • trixie

    this was amazing