Your Such a Loving Mom

Am I bothering you? Am I not good enough to be loved? Is that way you treat me this way Marie? Is that way you bring your friends around and pay them to do things to me? Is this showing your love for me Marie! Is this your way of appreciating me! Paying guys to come and take every little bit of childhood I have left!Do I desire this Marie? Do I desire all the pain, and r**e, and beating, and neglect? Are you proud of me Marie? Are you happy that I’m sending all this money into your pockets! Why are you standing in that corner! Why are you staring at me! Why did you tie me up! Marie god damnit anwser me! You will pay for this Marie! You will pay for your sins and all of the suffering that you brought before me! I’ll get you for what you did! I will get you for what you did to me, and Katie. I will get revenge for Katie if it’s that last thing I live for! I will get out of these, ha, jump ropes easily. You think that jump ropes can keep me down? I’m stronger then you think I am Marie. I might seem weak, but my soul is strong, and I will defeat you.Don’t walk away from me when I’m talking to you Marie! Marie you need to respect your daughter, not that you did that to Katie, your nine yes old daughter! Marie! Marie! Oh Marie the next time you see my face it’s the last thing you’ll ever see, I swear that on my soul.

Ha ha ha Marie…Marie…wake up Marie. We have much things to do Marie, so much things. Oh your up that’s just wonderful, we can begin the last three hours of your life. I see your hyped up about this already. Ha ha ha…screaming won’t work Marie, your already bond up like a ball…ha ha. Sorry for the very uncomfortable way it’s put on, I tried my best. I have a friend, I think to know him…that’s right it’s Nick your son. You remember your 15 year old son right? Why wouldn’t you know him, you sold him of as a sexual favor to your friends as well. He brought his friends…he brought two. Don’t move around there’s no point, your just tightening the restraints. Oh good, Marie your new friends are here, you three have fun. Remember boys keep it going for an hour…an hour and a half if you can. See you the Marie.

Marie…ha ha ha…Marie…ha…Marie. Your up that’s perfect. It’s time for the best day of your life Marie. Which one do you want, it’s your choice. Ha…ha ha…go on Marie…ha ha…theres only two. You want the gun…ha ha…good choice…ha…unfortunately Marie that’s not what’s going to happen. See I’m going to use this, and it will cut you up real nice. There will be lots of blood everywhere. What’s the point of enjoying a gun shot, when I can cut you up with my favorite knife? Acually Marie, there is no enjoyment. This is what you did to Katie anyway. You shot here and then cut her up so she was beyond recognition. She was your youngest daughter! You have no sympathy! Ha ha ha…well Marie…ha ha…your time is up. Ha ha ha…see you in hell…mom.

  • Presentable Cabbage


  • edwin usprich

    you know dis gonna be good when the title has a spelling error

  • Konner

    I scrolled down to the bottom (Which I do just to help judge if I should read for various reasons) and you only had three paragraphs.

  • Fiver

    You pointlessly include incredibly sensitive topics with little seriousness or meaning too them. Even novels with critical value are harshly critiqued for using incredibly sensitive topics. Perhaps rather than focusing on a justified murder in a fashion similar to everyone else you can find a more unique way to express some type of revenge killing or find a more unique and frightening plot. You also don`t want to type laughter or use so many ellipses because it pulls away from the story and seems a little ridiculous rather than unsettling.

  • Rose Morrison

    You know it’s not going to be great when there’s a spelling mistake in the title. A good premise for a story, but very poorly executed. So many spelling, grammatical and constructional errors that it detracts from the story. Also, way too short and hurried. I also agree with the comments by Fiver. Finding someone to edit your work would help immensely.

  • Simon

    “You’re”. It’s “You’re”. It’s not that hard to remember, you know…

  • Simon

    Hey, I’m the critic here!
    Seriously though, that sums it up quite nicely.

  • Troy Jones

    “You’re” dumb……..

  • ih8cake1

    Not much of a story rather than the middle of one,really confusing with no evident reason