I can’t tell if I’m going insane, if my mind is just playing tricks, or if I’m actually seeing these demons. This started a little over a week ago, and has gotten progressively worse since then. I wrote about it in my journal. I explained it better in that than I could like this, so I’ll just post the entries for the pat little while. And because you probably don’t want to read all about my average, everyday life, I’ll put all of the interesting stuff in bold. I’m not asking anyone to believe me, all I’m asking is for anyone that has gone through similar experiences, to tell me about them so that I know I’m not alone.
Wednesday, January 18, 2017
Today was as normal as any other day; I went to school again, and I was told things that I already know again. Literature was as easy as reading a book, Chemistry was just working on memorizing more atomic symbols, and Spanish made no more sense than usual. I left my classes feeling as if I had learned nothing on anything, which is normal.
I went to Dungeons and Dragons Club after, hanging with all of my nerd friends. We played dungeons and dragons again, and my Wizard finally leveled up! I think I’m going to choose necromancy as his main trait. It turns out that sometimes the weakest can do things that the strongest can’t in the game, because I rolled a 20 in our game of ‘who can lift the giant club the cyclops dropped!’ It was fun to imagine a weak old wizard lifting the giant club with one hand. But then our team’s insane mage kicked my knee, and the tree sized club crushed me! I almost died, but ended up getting out with a few hit-points left.
When I got home, I sat on my couch with my phone for basically the rest of the day. My mom got mad, again, on how I never do anything physical and stay on my phone more that talking with my family. I ignored her as usual, and watched YouTube.
The only thing that was even the slightest bit unusual today was that I had a hallucination as I woke up. The moment I opened my eyes, after my alarm went off, was this black 3D shadow at the foot of my bed. It looked like a slightly overweight hunched man. I blinked and it disappeared.
It’s sad, the only thing interesting that has happened for the past couple weeks is a trick of the light. I don’t think there is a kid in this world with a more average life, literally the most interesting thing I do is play an old nerd game that most people make fun of now-a-days.
Thursday, January 19, 2017
I had another hallucination this morning. When my alarm went off, I opened my eyes and stared into what seemed to be a rotting head staring at me a couple of inches from my face. I got a glimpse of its pitch black eyes before blinking, where it then disappeared just as the other did. Maybe I’m getting a little too stressed about my average life, and so I’m making up things to make it special.
Other than that, my day was normal again. School was boring, Government was easy, Calculus was hard, and computers was just a little interesting. I learned a couple of things about math and found some fun on the computer, but it was still just an average day.
Club was fun again, we tackled a dungeon filled with undead dwarves and found some platinum coins. We had to leave early though, so me and a couple of friends got stuck in the boss battle room alone, while the rest of the group was outside of the locked door. I guess we’ll continue it on Wednesday of next week!
At home, nothing interesting happened. I sat around with a book and with my phone, nobody talked much with me, and I didn’t interact with anyone in return.
Friday, January 20, 2017
Ok, I’m starting to get a little freaked out now. This morning I didn’t see anything, and school was normal as usual, but after dinner my parents and siblings went to the park. Physical activity is not my thing, so I stayed home. As I read my book, I would look up instinctively every few minutes; after a half an hour of this, the shadow man appeared again! I blinked and he vanished, so I went back to reading, starting to get a little freaked out. The next time I looked up he was there again! I nearly screamed, but instead closed my eyes quickly, knowing that he would be gone when I opened them again. Sure enough, he had vanished. I put my book down, and stared at that spot untill my family came home. I’m not even sure if I blinked once during that time!
I don’t really know what else to say, the rest of my day was average, and after what happened, I don’t really want to write about anything else.
Saturday, January 21, 2017
I’m pretty sure I’m going insane at this point, because nothing that I’m seeing can possibly be real! I don’t dare tell anyone, because who would believe me if I told them I was being followed by some shadow person and a tall, thin, rotting corpse?!
I was up all night, because every time I opened my eyes, even for just a moment, one of the two demons was standing in front of me. It makes me shudder to think that the corpse was so close to my face a couple of days ago. When my alarm went off this morning, I felt as if I had died inside. I eventually managed to get up and struggle through the day, but I am now afraid to even blink, let alone go to sleep.
I’m glad I didn’t have school today, because my friends would have noticed the change in behavior. I can barely think, and every sound I hear is faded as if I’m in a distant cave. This is probably from lack of sleep. But now, even throughout the day, I catch glimpses of these demons every couple of hours when I blink. My family is getting a little worried when I jump in fear randomly for no reason.
Nobody else sees them, so I know they’re just my imagination or something. But that still doesn’t feel like a good thing, because that might mean I’m going insane!
Sunday, January 22, 2017
My parents made me go to Church today. I didn’t want to go, I wasn’t sure how the rest of the town would feel about my jumpy behavior. Mom said that it would be a good way to help with my anxiety, but she doesn’t know, this has nothing to do with anxiety.
I had another sleepless night. The shadow kept his distance when he appeared, but the corpse creeped closer throughout the night. By the time morning came, he was staring into my face like he had been the first time I saw him. I could now clearly remember his eyes, blackish, but with a tint of red. I couldn’t help but be reminded of rotting blood.
I jumped up and yelped in the middle of our church meetings, I had seen the shadow standing next to the speaker. Everyone stared at me for a long while, before my dad laughed it off and said he had pinched me. Nobody really believed him.
I stayed in my room for the rest of the day. No matter what my parents said, I would not leave, not even for food or water. My parents put dinner in my room before going to bed, they looked too concerned for comfort. But what could I tell them?
One thing’s for sure, I can’t stay awake forever, but I’m afraid to sleep, or close my eyes for any reason.
Monday, January 23, 2017
I slept last night. I couldn’t help it, I just closed my eyes for a few seconds and suddenly it was time to go to school. Maybe it’s safe to sleep after all!
I went to school today, trying not to jump when I saw the figures appear. I couldn’t help it sometimes, and people would stare at me weird whenever I did. I noticed a small difference in how people treat me now, they all seem to either avoid me, or ignore me. I miss the days that I had a normal life. It seems like it was years ago.
My family won’t leave me alone, which is good and bad. It’s good to know that they care about me, but bad because it’s annoying to have them on my back constantly. It doesn’t help with the demons, they come whether I’m alone or not.
Tuesday, January 24, 2017
I freaked in Chemistry today, things had gotten out of hand. I was sitting at my desk, watching the teacher explain electron configuration, when the corpse appeared in beside me. This alone was weird, because I hadn’t even blinked! They always only appear when I close my eyes for a second, this was the first time it happened without that.
It’s rotten hand reached towards my face as it appeared. Some people had gotten used to me jumping in fear, but nobody was prepared for me to jump up onto my seat and scream on the top of my lungs.
I realized what I had done as soon as the corpse disappeared again. The entire class stared at me with worried faces, a couple laughed at me a little. I was sent home after that, and told to try to get some sleep.
I didn’t talk for the rest of the day. I just sat on my bed, shaking.
Wednesday, January 25, 2017
I woke up today with an ache in my mouth, and red staining my pillow. It took me several minutes of staring at the crimson spots to realize that I had bitten my tongue so hard that it began bleeding, badly. I ran past the shadow as it stared at me from the doorway, and washed out my mouth.
It was hard for me to talk for the rest of the day, so it was hard to protest when my mom said I had to go to school again today. I spent the entire day trying to look invisible, always sitting in the corner of the classroom, and never talking.
The visions were getting more common, now they appear every few minutes, and it takes blinking a few times instead of just once to get them to leave. I’m getting worried, what if they aren’t real? Then I would be going insane. But, even worse, what if they are real?
I’ve decided to post my journal entries on a few websites tomorrow in order to see if anyone can help with this. I just want my normal, average, everyday life back.
This has been my last eight journal entries. I plan on posting more every week to give new information on what I find out. Please, anyone that knows anything about what might be happening, tell me as soon as you can!