The Invisible Mirror

Something is following me and I do not like it. I first saw it a week ago after I asked my friend if they could order for me at McDonald’s. I have really bad anxiety and sometimes doing the simplest things can be so hard. When I first saw him I jumped, he was standing just outside of the restaurant and wouldn’t move. It was super bright out so I couldn’t see much but it felt like he was staring straight at me. The hairs on my neck stood straight up. Since then I’ve only seen him twice more. I’m nervous to do anything now more than ever… I’ve been chewing my nails more frequently. Today I have to go out for a doctor’s appointment, I have no choice but to leave the house… I just hope he doesn’t follow me out.

F**k, I can’t move. I’m so f*****g scared I literally can’t move. I was walking through the aisles of the store quickly to get the back where my doctor’s office is when I passed what looked like…. Me. My hair was so thin, my face was pale and my eyes were bloodshot as hell. The worst thing of all was that I was staring straight at me, it wasn’t like a mirror where we both passed by simultaneously… No. It couldn’t be that easy. It had to be staring straight f*****g at me. It’s red, sunken eyes staring straight into my soul. I wanted to run, I wanted to leave that store and forget about my appointment… My mom called me and that’s what broke me out of my spell. I glanced back and saw nothing, so I continued up to my appointment.

I’m home now… The safe confines of my home. Thank God. When I saw myself at that store today it terrified me. What in the hell was that thing to have looked just like me? There was no mirror, am I imagining it? I’m not going insane am I? I decided to lay in bed and try to get some rest. I could hardly hold my eyes open.

I woke up from my dead sleep to… Nothing, perfect. My eyes were still closed and I was wondering what time it was when I got that sense of… Urgent panic. No… Not now, I don’t want to go through this right now. I opened my eyes to look for the little pills to stop what I thought was an incoming panic attack when I saw it… Something standing right in the center of my room. I yelled and threw my alarm clock at the thing and bolted towards my door. I heard the crash of the alarm clock behind me and I slammed the door and bee-lined straight to my parents room. I crashed through their doorway and they’re asleep… Wait, they’re not moving. Are they dead?! I start screaming in hysterics to no reaction from them, I begin bawling my eyes out when my dad jumps up cursing words out of fear. I ran over and tried to explain what was happening through my own garbled voice being impeded by tears. My mother being the apparently incredibly deep sleeper took a few minutes to wake with my father constantly pestering her to join him. They walked me back to my room telling me it was alright and that it was just a night terror. The closer we got to my room the more doom and fear that filled my mind, my thoughts, my body. It’s the type of feeling that would stop you dead in your tracks. I felt as though I was going to vomit when my dad took hold of the doorknob. He opened the door and inside… Was simply the shattered remains of my alarm clock. Nothing else was around, my mother saw the clock and told me she’d get me a new one in the morning. She tried to console me, telling me that it was alright, I’d done it in the fear of my nightmare and that everything was fine. I laid back in bed after they’d gone back to theirs when something occurred to me… Why was the clock shattered at the door and not at the opposite side of the room towards where I threw it.

A few days have passed, I’ve seen myself every day since, I look behind every corner, watch out the corners of my view. I always know he’s nearby. My hair’s started to fall out, my nails are chewed to the point where some are almost gone. Chewed off or covered with bandages. I’m always shaking, I’m always scared. I’m staying at a friend’s for tonight, maybe being around someone else will keep me safe. I’ve been feeling more doom and gloom now more than ever. I feel as though the end is near. My friend and I are playing video games now. It’s not long before we’ll be going to bed. It’s the last round before the end of the night, I’m winning our tournament and having so much fun. I’m actually smiling now. I hit the combo for one of the special moves and… Bam! He’s dead. My friend drops his controller in frustration. I jump up and start dancing my victory dance. He laughs and starts putting things away, I sit back down and start to help him while laughing under my breath. We’re headed to bed now. I’m sleeping in the living room on the couch as it’s comfier than my friend’s floor. I’m having such a nice sleep, dreaming a wonderful dream of a nice job, great girl, great home. When suddenly everything turns dark. My girl is gone, my home is run down, I have no job, the shadows are stalking me. I run, but I’ve no where to run. I’m stuck in a corner and they’re closing in on me, they’re going to get me! No. No. No. NO!

I wake up in a cold sweat, it’s freezing now. I pull the blankets up on me when I get that overwhelmingly familiar feeling of being watched… No… I get up and turn, looking behind the couch. There I am. Standing there right in front of myself. My other has this sullen look about him, he looks terrible and I almost feel sad… Then… Then he smiles this impossibly large smile, the sides of his lips split from being stretched so far. He looks exactly like me. His eyes are so dark, so bloodshot… I’ve got worry lines everywhere and my hair is so thin. My nails are chewed jagged and half torn off. I try to scream but my voice fails me. Just as my world starts going dark I hear these words… “You never have to be afraid again.”

That morning I came downstairs to see if my Daniel wanted to play more video games, he’d beaten me last night and I definitely wanted a rematch. I notice a note on the staircase that say, “I’m no longer afraid”. This strikes me as odd, so I run down the stairs to see what’s going on when I look to the couch. It’s clean, could he have gone home? I go to turn the corner and notice just feet from the sofa… Daniel hanging by his blankets from the rafters. I let out the loudest scream… But my voice failed me when I saw… Me.

  • Ang

    pretty good! But I couldn’t really get that into it though.

  • boost.


  • Fiver

    The writing could definitely use some basic editing. Proof read several times and read aloud before posting a story. You are always going to miss things, but you should be able to get a story that is a bit cleaner.
    The ellipses are very over used. They are meant to show a pause and transition in thought or omission of information that is understood from context clues. While I think the last ellipsis may work most of the rest of the ellipses used don`t. I also advise on cutting back on the use of no. The word does not add to your story, especially when used so frequently. You really have to set up that use with a lot of denial prior and a heavier build up of tension. Even if you manage that you should only use the word no (in the way you have used it), especially in repetition, only once.
    The ending is intriguing in how it is written. That last line may be the reason this story got one star higher than the rating I was leaning towards. The rest of the story is rather rushed and is almost spoon fed to the reader. Show, don`t tell, and take some extra time to proof read. You may also want to get a friend or family member to help you. Take your time, establish tension and a flow. Everything does not need to happen at once.

    • Konner

      God, I would never tell anyone about me writing on this app XD

  • DahrknessInTheLight

    It was a decent read, the ending was quite spooky, and a pleasant twist, in my opinion. However, I do feel as though it could have used some proofreading. Don’t feel bad, though, it was an excellent story.

  • Konner

    I pretty much have the same thing to say that Fiver said. The only thing I want to add is when most of the story ‘I’ is referring to the main character. It REALLY annoyed me when you put it in someone else’s point of view when it is in a 1st person point of view. It just didn’t make sense to me. You should of wrote it in 3rd person, not just the last part, but the entire story. It was a great story other than that but it still makes me want me to pull my hair out when I think of this story.