Dear Diary, Jimmy here, I’m back again to write… I know it’s been awhile but I am finally here at last. I recently have been put in a mental health ward within the state penitentiary because of acts I do not recall doing… but I apparently did so. I’ve had a lot of things on my mind recently and I just can’t seem to get them out of my head. The only way of finding some sort of relief is by writing my thoughts down unto this very notebook.
Anyways… these last few months have been the most nerve-wracking experiences I’ve ever had in my entire life. The things I done are beyond unimaginable, in fact way worse than that. I have murdered a person… or a few. I’ve taken innocent blood and much more all because of this one girl, whom I still think about to this very day. Sometimes I can’t even live with myself after what I had done. Sometimes I wish I could just be dead. So atlas this is my story. All of my love… Jimmy, x.
It was September 12th, 1985. It was junior year of high school and the first day of school had finally came around. I wasn’t ready for this grade at all… I barely even liked being a sophomore let alone a freshman. Kids at school usually say that the higher grade you’re in the more enjoyable or gets. I’m for sure different from the rest because I think it is just a big load of horse crap, and I have every right to think that because it’s the truth!
I also wasn’t looking forward to dealing with all the other nobodies in this jail like building.
There are 3 kids who usually cause the most ruckus, number one is Carlson, an over weight loud mouth who thinks it’s funny to pick on disabled kids. Number two is Nick, a narcissistic scumbag, thinks he is the greatest looking guy ever and enjoys inflicting emotional pain on his victims for fun, and last but not least Evan, the leader of the group, you can say he is the meanest out of the bunch, he does anything from taking lunch money to severely beating up other kids just for the enjoyment.
I hated them so much, everybody else did as well. I couldn’t blame them either. These jerks made our lives hell…
There was this one girl though, her name was Rose, I’ve only chatted with her a few times… I knew that she was a lonely person because she always sat by herself at the lunch table, often reading her books or drawing in what looked like some sort of journal.
She was picked on the most out of all the other kids… she was even picked on by kids that I knew who I could never even imagine being so mean. Nick was always on her like flies to rotten food. He would call her dirty, filthy, and nasty names until she would run to the bathroom crying. My heart-felt for her, I always wanted to talk to her and get to know her… but she was so pretty and often times I would get too nervous and eventually end up chickening out. Her bright blonde hair, porcelain skin, and dark brown eyes took my breath away, I couldn’t seem to understand why the other kids picked on her.
One day though as I was sitting in math class I had noticed she had sat behind me in the row that I was in. I could hear her tear out a piece of paper and she began writing something. A few seconds later I heard the paper being folded into a note, she then reached her hand over my shoulder and dropped it on the desk in front of me. As I began to open the note I catched a hint of perfume on the paper… it’s smelled so sweet like most girl perfumes do, it was a lovely hint of lilacs and something else I couldn’t pin out.
As I opened the note which had been written in neatly posh cursive, I began to make out what it said. “Dear Jimmy, I noticed you in lunch class… I’ve seen you attempt to walk in my direction at times. It’s okay to keep walking… I kind of hope you would anyways lol. From Rose, x”. I turned around and looked back at her and she just so happened to had already been staring back at me, gazing with a soft stare and a beautiful warming smile.
Rose, thank you for this letter, I said in a nervous whispering voice. No problem she replied, I hope you were able to read my hand writing…
“Rose!!” the teacher said with a harsh tone, “if you don’t pay attention, I’ll have to write you up!” Rose blushed with nervousness and said, “Yes ma’am,” before settling back down and returning her eyes to the board, but as the teacher was focused on the board she abruptly leaned to the side of me and whispered quietly to meet me at her locker after class, I told her she had my word.
Class finally came to end with the ringing of the bell, Rose got up before everybody else and walked out the door. When I finally made it to the door to leave, I turned to my left and noticed her down at the end of the empty hallway. Her locker was towards the far back of the hall… oddly by the janitor’s closet. I shrugged it off quickly and thought nothing of it and began to make my way down there… all I could think about was actually getting to know this pretty girl, finally now is my chance, there’s no backing out of this one, I reassured myself.
As I approached closer, she turned her head and noticed me.
“Jimmy!! You’re finally here. Soooo did you like my letter?”
“Of course… I loved it, I honestly wasn’t ever expecting this to happen… I’ve been wanting to chat with you for sometime but I just never got the courage to actually do it.”
“Awww Jimmy that’s so sweet of you. I’ve always wanted to talk to you too! But that’s why were here now though… I’m proud of you for coming down here, that really shows to me.”
Jimmy stood dumbfounded and blushing, was this girl really into me? Does she actually really like me? If so I’m the luckiest boy alive… she is so gorgeous, how could I got her? I’ll admit I’m not the ugliest looking guy but also not the best looking.
“Oh yeah it’s no problem,” I said nervously! Her dark-brown eyes never leaving sight of mine. “Thank you for sending me that note… if it wasn’t for that I probably wouldn’t have even approached you.”
She smirked in return and parted some of her hair away from her eyes. “Well look at us both,” she said, “we’re here now and that’s all that matters.”
A few days had gone by since I chatted with Rose, she hadn’t been to school in 3 days. I assumed her as sick or something like that, this flu was going around the school. She didn’t have a cell phone so there was no way I could get in touch with her… and nobody even knew where she lived, I had stupidly forgotten to ask anyways so that’s my fault I suppose.
Lunch time came around that day and I had finally noticed her walk into the cafeteria, she had just gotten to school it seems. I hurried out of the lunch line to greet her, but as I approached she had her head kneeled down and clinching her binder.
“Rose, is everything okay?” She didn’t respond.
“Rose, can you hear me? Is everything okay?” I said again.
She slowly raised her head… her face was covered in tears, her eyes reddened from crying.
“No Jimmy, I’m not okay, I’m really not okay…” her murmurs broken through and I could hear the strain and frustration in her voice.
“I had just got home from the hospital because of a condition that I have and when my mother dropped me off at the door, Carlson, Nick, and Evan were standing outside by the entrance… my mom couldn’t see them because of a bush blocking the door out of sight… she would have said something had she had known they was there. Before I had gotten to the door they had stepped in front of it.”
Nick began opening his smart mouth. “Where do you think you’re going you little psycho? We noticed you haven’t been to school for quite sometime? Still stuck in the mental ward I imagine?”
“Shut the hell up Nick, I don’t get why you care anyways… it’s none of your business.”
Nick laughed in an evil tone… “Sweety it is my business, you’re a freak psycho and that’s all I need to know.”
“Haha. Yeah Nick tell the freak,” Carlson said in a fit of giggling.
Rose looked over towards Evan who had an awful grin on his face…
Nick, take her journal..
Nick nodded towards Evan and proceeded to come towards Rose.
Rose clutched her binder to her chest as tight as she could but that didn’t stop him.
“Give me the binder for christ sakes…”
“NO PLEASE STOP I’LL DO ANYTHING PLEASE DON’T” Rose said as the streams of water began pouring down her face.
The binder ripped from her hands as she could no longer hold on tight enough.
“Well well, let’s see what we have in here.”
Nick opened up the binder and its items inside fell to the ground.
The journal having been the most notable object giving it away immediately… Carlson picked it up and began to open it up.
“Look at this garbage, what even is this s**t anyways? It looks like scribble.”
“Let me see it,” Evan said as he grabbed it quickly.
“Yeah looks like some grade ‘A’ garbage to me…” he began flipping through the pages and found nothing he seemed importance.
“So Rose, give me a reason as to why I shouldn’t rip this heap of trash to shreds?”
Rose stood teary eyed… words weren’t coming out properly, she was stuttering and lost sense of thought.
“Okayyyy then,” Evan said loudly.
He held the journal in front of Rose’s face and began ripping several pages out and tearing them up and dumping the pieces on top of her head.
“I hate you guys so much,” Rose said under her breath.
Nick noticed her lips move, “What did you say you little nut case?”
“I said I hate you…” Rose’s tears still pouring down her face like water falls.
“Yeah whatever loser, have fun picking your trash up.” The three bullies walked off laughing about and bragging on about what they had done.
Rose never bothered to wipe her eyes whilst picking up her belongings and the paper pieces left laying in the grass.
She eventually got it all sorted out in her binder again and stormed inside.
Rose’s Flashback end
I looked in awe… I couldn’t believe these jerks would do such an awful thing to her, she for sure didn’t deserve this.
“Do you know where they went?” I said firmly.
“They looked like they were heading out towards the back by the black top, but please don’t go after them, it’s not worth it, I don’t want you getting hurt!”
“Rose, those guys just ruined your journal and left you to clean up their mess, I can’t just let them get away with that.”
Rose leaned in before Jimmy could say another word and wrapped her arms around him tightly… “No its okay, it’s nothing to worry about, please don’t go after them, do it for me please I beg of you.”
I thought for a moment on what I should do… I finally accepted what she had said and wrapped my arms around her in return.
“I’m glad I get to see you again, I was worried about why you hadn’t been to school for the past three days.”
“It’s a long story Jimmy… we should hang out after school and I’ll tell you all about me.” By the time she had gotten done telling me what happened the bell rang signaling that lunch was over. She quickly wrote her address down on a piece of paper and handed it to me.
The rest of the day went by slow, I didn’t talk to her much for the rest of the school day, we weren’t in a lot of the same classes besides for math and science class. It was pretty lame but that didn’t matter to me. She was always on my mind from then on out. I thought about her and her teary eyes for hours, it made me so sad… I probably should have done something about those punks, but it’s too late now I guess, maybe I can just put it past me I told myself… I doubt it, but I’ll try.
As the school day came to a close I immediately pulled out the piece of paper and noticed the road that she lived on wasn’t far from my house. Only about 10 minutes away or so. I hurried onto my bike and pedaled quickly out of the school parking lot. My parents were pretty lenient and I didn’t have to be home till quite late, so I figured I could hang out with Rose for pretty much all day.
I eventually came near the road she lived on and I could already feel the butter flies in my stomach, I couldn’t wait to see her face again!
When I arrived she was sitting on her front porch and dressed in all black, it was unexpected because I never seen her that way. I’m so used to seeing her in her school uniform all the time. I was drawn with a refreshing breath because I as well liked to wear black clothes.
She stood up and began making her way
Down her gravel drive way.
“I knew you would come, I hope my clothes aren’t off-putting to you, I tried to look my prettiest… I touched up my hair and make up a bit before you got here. How do I look?”
“You look amazing, I love the way you curled your hair… it looks beautiful, oh and your make up too.”
Breathtaking was all I could muster in my brain…
She smiled in return and with a sweet and soft reply before saying, “I knew you would. Come inside, my parents aren’t home they shouldn’t be for a while.”
I was relieved because I didn’t have to meet her parents just yet… they would have probably thought I was just another weird boy.
We headed inside and I shut the door behind us.
“Well this is my house! I know it’s not anything crazy but it’s what we got, here I’ll show you the way to my room.”
She grabbed my hand and we proceeded to walk down the hallway.
“Now the bathroom is another room down, and the basement is towards the end of the hallway.”
“Okay thanks,” I said in return.
Something struck me for a moment… I understand why she mentioned the bathroom but I don’t get why she even mentioned the basement? I mean the basement? I nodded it off anyways and got back into conversation with Rose.
“Sooo this is your room huh?”
“Yes why yes Jimmy this is indeed my room, is it lovely?”
The walls were lavished with majestic paintings and art works… all of which were in gothic style, some scary and even demonic like, I actually thought it was cool though because I as well was into the gothic scene. We sat on her bed and began talking again.
“I didn’t know you were this good of an artist… how did you learn to draw so good?”
Well my parents usually aren’t around much and I don’t have any friends so I just stay at home all day and practice on my arts… I found that with practice you can pretty much do anything you want. Oh did you know I also write too!” she said ecstatically.
She reached in her binder and pulled out her mangled journal that was ransacked earlier from the three stooges.
“I know my journal looks horrible right now but you obviously know why,” she said in a depressing voice.
As she began flipping through the pages, I noticed she was going through pages of scribble and what looked to be like gibberish. “Thank God they never ripped out the pages towards the back,” she said in a grateful voice…
When the back pages finally appeared, they were written in that posh cursive hand writing. She began to tell me what they were about.
“You see… I have plans Jimmy, I have plans to get those jerks back. I want to make them pay for all the suffering they cause on a daily basis not just to me but to some of the other kids. They can’t be getting away with this any longer.”
I agreed in a justly manner… “You’re right they do deserve to have payback, but what’s your plan?”
She leaned her head up against my shoulder before vocalizing.
“I hope you don’t think I’m crazy Jimmy… I know this is far-fetched but there are voices calling from my basement in the middle of the night before I fall asleep and they call out my name… When I put my ear against the door, they speak to me of awful things, of things I should do to those boys. I’ve been listening to them for a long time now and I’m starting to believe what they say is right. They say it’s the only way.”
I immediately thought to myself… What am I listening to right now? This really isn’t happening right? Was she really crazy? These bullies couldn’t have been right… I couldn’t believe it to be so. I pushed on to listening once again, embracing myself for a long while of chatting.
She looked up at me again with a confused look on my face. “Are you still listening?” she said curiously.
“Um yeah sorry just a little tired that’s all, keep on.”
“Well anyways my parents decided to send me to the doctor to get checked up on… when I told them the problem I’ve been having they for sure thought I was mentally ill so I had no choice but to go. The doctor even believed I was mentally ill. I was sent to a mental hospital to get treatment and to be put on drugs for they thought I had schizophrenia. That’s the reason I hadn’t been to school for the past three days, they made me stay for a long time this go around. They ran constant tests and gave me medication to help alleviate the thoughts of the voices in my head. The medication worked to no prevail unfortunately and I was sent home by the doctor with a note wishing my best regards and that there was nothing they could do. I know it’s a lot to taken it but I’m being honest to you… I wouldn’t ever lie to you Jimmy, I promise you.”
“Well what do these voices say to you from the basement?” I replied.
“Do you really want to know? I don’t want to scare you or anything…”
“Yeah go ahead, let’s hear it.”
Well… well… um there’s no easy way to say this but they tell me to murder the three boys. The voices subconsciously wish for me to cause them extreme pain, often times I get mental images of sawing their limbs off and severing the skin back from off their faces whilst alive… sometimes gouging their eyes and cutting their lounges and stabbing their ear drums with needles to make them forever deaf, blind, and mute.”
I was taken aback by the words that just spewed from her mouth. Her gaze no longer a sweet and reassuring stare… but a pair of two blank and emotionless black voids. Did she really just say what I thought she said? Am I the one that’s going crazy now?
Her eyes still darted mine and a few seconds passed before I started to realize that a growing faint echo was growing inside of my mind… I started to hear a voice too, I couldn’t make it out and I abruptly shook my head and told her I had to go home because my mom was cooking dinner.
She looked sad, “I hope I didn’t scare you, I really don’t, I… I didn’t mean for this to happen. I just have nobody to talk to and I had to let it out to somebody… and I’m sorry it had to be you.”
I turned back to look at her one last time before I made my way out of her room and towards her front door.
It began to rain as I got on my bike and I rode home as fast as I could without looking back at the house.
That night I laid in my bed fumbling the emotions in my head whilst trying to sleep, thinking of Rose and all those things she said.
I couldn’t stop thinking of that basement in particular… I couldn’t nudge it out of my steady flow of imagination… I began to constantly picture the door in my head and the longer I imagined it soon enough the voices slowly reappeared and grew louder and louder with every single time I pictured the door. Sounds of horrible groaning began to pour in… as if somebody was horribly sick and dying in bed, then in the midst of the awful groaning a voice spoken in a ghostly tone came forth…
“You will help her, you will kill them, you will slaughter, you will burn them alive.”
I got up out of bed absolutely wide-eyed and afraid to think another single thought. Sweat began to run down my forehead and my palms were damp. I have never felt truly scared like this. I was worried for not only my safety but also Rose’s, and anybody else who stood in the way.
I quickly got dressed and headed down stairs, put my shoes on that were by the door and speeded out on my bike down the road. It was only 10 o’clock so I figured that Rose might not be asleep yet.
My bike pedals were going so fast that I could barely keep up… I had to let her know what just happened.
When I came to her house, I threw my bike off into the grass and ran towards her window on the side of the house and began knocking on it softly and lightly yelling her name. She appeared at the window with a blank expression on her face, she almost didn’t look human. Her facial features resembling a face of pure terror. Eyes as wide open as far as they will go… it startled me and I jumped back almost losing my balance.
“Rose what are you doing, I have to talk to you about something, open your window let me in.” She still stood there facing towards me through the window emotionless.
“Rose what the hell… I’m not playing around, stop acting funny and just hurry up and open the window!!” She backed away and disappeared for a second, I could hear the front door opening ever so slightly. I creeped my head around the corner to find Rose’s head sticking out of the door entrance before swiftly going back inside.
I shuddered in fear, goosebumps ran up my spine, apart of me didn’t want to go inside but apart of me was telling me to.
I sucked it up and slowly made my way to the door… it was wide open.
Where must her parents be? They could not just be here I wondered.
I entered inside and felt a wave of dread pour upon me. Anxiety was eating away at my conscious and I felt that this probably wasn’t a good idea.
I came to the hall where Rose’s room was at… the basement door just a few rooms away from hers at the end of the hall I remembered…
The house seemed lifeless, even empty in fact. Her door was locked shut not appearing to open anytime soon… I silently approached the basement door to find that the door knob was unlocked.
In my regret I ended up opening the door… the basement stairs sunk way below and they creaked with every step… it felt like they never ended. I was terrified beyond belief.
It was pitch black and cold… but no air circulated around, it felt like a tomb.
When I felt the stairs come to an end, I walked about on the floor for a few several seconds until I ran into a figure amidst the blackness.
“Jimmy you made it right on time. I really missed you, I know you missed me too. That’s why you came over here. I knew you were worried about me. I could hear your thoughts as you were pedaling to my house.”
I gulped deeply and began to breath heavily.
I poorly recomposed myself before building the courage to speak.
“Rose what is going on, why are you down here?”
Rose sighed and began whispering in his ear… “Tonight’s the night Jimmy, tonight we reap what they sow, it’s the only way my sweet boy.”
A single lightbulb turned on lighting up the room with a musty haze.
There lay the three bullies. Carlson, Nick, and Evan were all bound with their hands and feet tied together in the middle of the dirty floor with each having their eyes gouged, mouths stitched shut, and ears bleeding with needles sticking out of them.
They were still alive I could tell… they were groaning in agony and wiggling about on the floor.
It all added up now… the thoughts in my head of the door and groans were all happening in real-time in this very basement.
Rose laughed hysterically, almost losing her breath at one moment before drifting back into that emotionless state.
“Would you like to see my parents?” she mumbled quietly.
She drew back a large curtain hiding what looked like giant cages… she unveiled a gruesome seen. Both of her parents had been skinned and crucified… white salt covered their bodies and they appeared wide eyed… staring with a look of absolute horror… but they never said a word nor a sound.
“What a beautiful sight don’t you agree Jimmy? I did this just for you, but now it is your turn to partake on this lovely date of ours.”
I stood dumbfounded, this was all real. This wasn’t fake, this was actually happening right now. The beautiful girl he once knew was nothing but a monster all along.
Rose approached closer and began running her soft fingers through my hair.
“I know this is difficult for you right now Jimmy… I know all too well. But this is for us, for our ever lasting love. I love you Jimmy, I know won’t let me down.”
I felt a sense of ease rest over my mind… the dread and fear vanished almost immediately, calmness rushed over my body and I began to lose control of my well-being, I wasn’t me anymore.
In the most caring and loving voice imaginable she spoke… “I have one last request for you my darling.”
She walked towards a gallon of gasoline and began dumping it over the heads of the bullies, their groans and muffled cries growing louder.
“Tonight we toast my love, tonight we take back what’s ours, tonight we shall never forget, they shall never forget.”
A box of matches rested upon her hand as she continued her speech.
“I now offer you the final request, a baptism of fire if you will.”
I unwillingly took a match and struck the match on the side of the box with ease and without a single sane thought.
I stared into the eyes of Rose the entire time as I flicked my wrist realising the match into the gasoline covered bullies.
We stood there holding each other as they burned.
“I’ll never forget you Jimmy,” she softly spoke, “my only truly love… thank you for everything.”