Please Never Use Website 666

My name is Mustafa. This story is a work of fiction on a time I had with my laptop. This did not really happen also I’m 13. This is my first story and maybe the start of something great.

I was 13 I was born with autism, so I had problems making friends. The closest thing I had was my laptop. It was another world for me but then a day came which changed my life. I was alone, my family was busy so I went to my laptop. It was a friend to me. I wished you were alive I said so I searched how to make my laptop come alive.

So I found a website. It had no name. When I clicked on the website and the numbers 666 in bright red showed. I had no idea it meant at the time. If I knew it was the devil’s number, I would have left the website.

So it said, “Enter name of item you want to come alive.” I clicked the box. My laptop was a Windows 10. It said Acer on the top so I combined both. I typed Wincer. I know ridiculous but when you’re 13 and autistic, it sounded good. I clicked next then it said, “Put candles around the item and say AD VITAM.” It was Latin for come to life so I grabbed some candles and did as instructed. Then the screen went black and then text showed up saying saying, “Hi Mustafa,” a box showed up. I typed, “Hi Wincer,” and like that my friend was alive. It was awesome for a few weeks then it was a school field trip to flamingo land. We were paired with other classmates. I was paired with a boy. We both became good friends and I spent more time with him than Wincer. He gave me his text and phone number.

One day when I was going to his house. I got the worst news ever. He got hit by a car and was in bad condition. He was in a coma. I had nobody to talk to so I went back to Wincer. I talked to him. I talked about how he was in a coma. Wincer said, “I’m sorry he got hit by a car.” I typed, “How did you know that?” I only told him about the coma not how it happened. Wincer said, “I did it.” I typed in the box “WHY!” Wincer replied, “You forgot about me. I got rid of him, so you would come back. I erased his phone so nobody could trace it back.”

I realised that Wincer was bad and I had to get rid of him. So I picked my laptop and ran downstairs. My parents weren’t home so I looked for anything to destroy Wincer. I opened a draw and found some matches. I grabbed the matches and ran outside. I took the battery out then I lighted a match and threw it on my laptop. I watched as it burn making sure no piece remained. I then threw the battery into the ocean never to be seen again and I went home. I threw the liquid iron in the bin right at the bottom and never told my parents what happens to my laptop. My friend got out of his coma and is healthy. I’m telling you this to make sure you know. Never to go on website 666.

So that’s a wrap let me know if it was good in the comments.

  • Angel

    It was a good start, some very minor grammer mistakes. You have potential. Develop a little more of a plot structure and add some details. Find the right amount for details and it will help build a fanbase. Good luck!!!

  • Catto_Golden

    This is good for a first timer, in the future calm down the pacing a bit and use more punctuation, other than that it’s a good story

  • Cadrn

    It was a decent story but a little bare bones it needed some meat to spice things up. I’m talking details really. In addition the grammar was a little weird it didn’t feel very professional as I read it. I would recommend reading very popular creepy pastas especially long ones to get a feel of how they are written. Either way you did a great job for your first time and should definitely give it some more tries. ;^)

  • Raven Irene

    It was ehh, you have great potential but you tried to rush the story and that made it sloppy. You didnt use words to make the situations sound better and the story line is honeslty kind of boring. Also in my honest opinion, you dont sound like your ment to be writing creepy pasta and “scary stories” to me you sound more lile a fantasy novel writer, but with enought practice i believe you can do what you want. (Im not a good auther either ive just read enough books, and im not saying this is everyone’s opinion just mine if you dont agree with this dont reply) sorry if i was harsh, but just some friendly advice!

  • Jaime Deane Motter

    Great job keep up the good work. You’ve got great potential