My Brother is Following Me. My Brother is Dead

Ten years ago, me and my bro, Peter, were messing around near a lake. We were both 13. We were wrestling when he fell back into the lake. It had flooded from two previous days of rain, and the water moved so fast. I ran with him, when a huge rock came in front of him. He was turned around so he didn’t see it coming. The noise if the water made it impossible to hear me. Jesus Christ I still hear the crack of his head and see the huge blood splatter on the rock.

That was 10 years ago. But just a month ago, while I was having a nightmare about the incident, in the dream I heard Peter say, “It’s your fault,” over and over again. Then, I heard it in my room. I bolted up, and looked over to the corner of my room, where Peter was standing, chanting, “It’s your fault! It’s your fault!” I screamed, and my girlfriend ran in to my room. I just cried. It was my fault. For the next few weeks, I saw Peter in the mirror, in a crowd of people, in the corner of my eye.

Then one night, I heard water running. I went to get out of bed to see if it was my girlfriend, when I realized, my girlfriend was right beside me. I grabbed a baseball bat I keep under my bed and walked out. I went into the bathroom, and saw Peter, with his head dunked in the sink full of water. He rose up slowly, “It’s your fault! It’s your fault!” He ran at me, and I hit him in the head over and over again. “Why the f**k aren’t you dead?!” I stopped for a stand Peter looked up at me. He had cold blue skin with red eyes. “Because it’s your fault. My loving brother.” I hit harder. And harder. I slid down the wall and cried. As of writing this, I have a gun in my hand. It was my fault. I’m sorry Peter. *Gunshot* *Girl screams*

  • KillerF999

    Idea is good(sort of). But there are many grammatical mistakes that kill the fun and suspense of the entire story plus the story is too short. And the above description of how peter died was also unclear owing to the grammatical mistakes and such.

  • Tristan Seaburg-Sweat

    I agree with killerF you should always proof read before you post! Have a friend or family member look it over, all in all it was alright