I Know What Awaits

Forget all of the stories you hear of near-death experiences, forget all of the tales you have heard of heaven and hell, put out of your mind the myth that when you die, you will either be met by St. Michael welcoming you through the pearly gates or you will have to spend all eternity choked by the smell of your own burning flesh as you walk naked through endless fields of hell fire.

For the past few years, I have been suffering from an illness that has baffled doctors across the globe, it all started with an unbearable headache that would come and go at random intervals, some nights I would wake up with a blood soaked pillow and a searing pain in the front of my head as blood dripped from my nose.

I went to see my doctor and he was stumped, he prescribed me codeine for the headaches but even when I doubled or sometimes tripled the dosage, the headaches would remain. After a few months of this, I began to get progressively worse, the nose bleeds would start during the day, accompanied by a shooting pain that would travel up through my nasal passage and around to my ears, within 6 months I would occasionally lose my sense of smell, hearing, and sight.

The doctors concluded that my brain was in some way attacking itself, but they still couldn’t work out what the exact cause was, or how to help me, they said that I would be dead within 12 months, and they were right, little did they know, I wouldn’t stay dead.

I have died a total of six times, each time for just a little bit longer before they manage to resuscitate me, each time I come back with a clearer image of what awaits, each time I wake up screaming until I lose my voice.

What does await us on the other side isn’t eternal flames, nor is there a set of golden gates and angels in the distance, you don’t stand hand in hand with family members past, but you don’t spend the rest of time being eaten from the inside out by maggots while your skin melts and bones turn to ash, you won’t meet God, nor the devil, angels nor demons, what awaits is simply… nothing.

Six times I have died and six times I have found myself in total darkness, completely cut off from all of my senses, I was alone in absolute silence, I couldn’t feel the ground beneath me or walls around me, that place was completely devoid of any smells and I couldn’t even taste the saliva in my mouth, I was left here all alone, feeling lost and scared, there was a building feeling of sheer panic, ever growing with no sign of change, and that’s all there is.

I’ve been to the other side, I know exactly what awaits us all and I know it won’t be long until I’m back there for all eternity…

  • Dr Creepen Van Pasta

    Interesting and terrifying take on the afterlife!

    • Nico Wonderdust

      Thank you very much Doc, I’m glad you think so! I written this one based on a thought I had, that, what if this is really what happens, which terrified me (and still does to this day), so I figured it would make a good idea for a story.

  • Simon

    Yeah, uhh, spoiler alert…

  • Fiver

    While an eternity of being conscious but having nothing to be conscious of is a terrifying thought the story is not effective in utilizing it. The idea is not unique and best stands alone. To get a unsettling story out of the idea you would need to convey it in an interesting way, but you waste your time describing a disorder rather than putting five minutes into research to pick a terminal disease. You could have also just described a time the character died which would have been easier and put more focus on the thing meant to make this story creepy.

    • Nico Wonderdust

      Thank you for your input! May I ask, if this idea is not unique (I’m not trying to say it is, merely asking) where has it been used before? I’d love to read/watch/listen to other takes on the idea. I deliberately opted for an unknown “disorder”, as you call it, as I felt it was better for the story as opposed to tying it to Cancer (too easy – cop out and also a topic I deliberately avoid), AIDS, Ebola, CAD and so on. In regards to putting more focus on the time the character died, you’re right, I probably should have done.

      • Fiver

        It is typically not put into a story format and I can`t recall exactly what it was as the afterlife was not the focus of the story or it has been a while since I`ve seen it. Still the idea of existing among absolutely nothing in death is not unexplored.

        • Nico Wonderdust

          I see, no worries. As long as someone finds this enjoyable, I’m happy xD

  • McKenzie

    I like the wag you described to after life. I myself have thought about it like this. And thought about how it would be to literally feel nothing. Nothing anywhere. I can’t even imagine.

    • Nico Wonderdust

      Thank you, I’m glad you liked it xD Yeah, that’s a horrible thought!