“…I… is this thing even on…?? Ugggggh I sure hope so. Well, anyway, my name is… W… actually to be frank with you, I honestly don’t know, but I’ve always liked the sound of “Lucius”, got a nice ring to it I suppose. Now, you may not like the name but uh, it shouldn’t bother you too much since um… it won’t be in your head for long. Now what else, what else… Oh yeah, introduction, I’m 36, born on December 26 in that God awful state Kansas haha. I’m, as you can see, very tall, slim, and I really love cooking shows. Hehe, sounds like a nice dating profile doesn’t it…?
So… while I have the chance, and since I rarely get the chance to actually talk to another being, especially in conditions like these, I feel inclined to tell you about my little life if ya don’t mind? Uhm… I have… always been alone, no family, no loved ones, no friends. Ever since I could I remember, I’ve always been by myself. Through kindergarten, middle school, highschool, college, I’ve never had anyone by my side. Now you may think that I just FEEL alone, but I’m being literal, no one has ever been there for me… w…well… that’s not completely true though, because HE always talks to me though… He NEVER shuts up. And then during all my low points in life, he is super loud. Telling me to do this, and do that, and yada yada yada yada, and sometimes I ignore him because, well, what do I gain from all of it ya know? But he never gives me an answer… But then… this happens, he told me by doing this I won’t ever EVER be alone again and I can finally have someone to talk so, and you probably have NO IDEA how happy this makes me! Oh, and you’re probably wondering Mrs… uh… Clover? Man that’s a weird last name considering what’s upcoming. But, you’re probably wondering what he gains from this and well… he gains your soul.”