Hi. I’m Caroline (not my real name). I’m 15 and awkward. I’m just a regular chunky girl who hates big crowds but loves making friends. I have one very special friend that lives with me and is like a brother to me… and I want to tell you about him.

His name is Francis and he is not like most teenagers, he has a very strange appetite. His diet consists of raw meat and some sort of black liquid he needs to stay healthy. He doesn’t really look normal either, he looks as if his skin shows every vein in his body. He is so pale he looks gray, yet it’s smooth and soft. His eyes are kinda normal, one’s light gray but the other is clouded white. He says he can see through it but I don’t know how. He has the softest raven hair! I wish my hair could be like his even tho its kinda short… but anyways here’s the story.

Francis was only 3 when he was abducted. For 12 years he lived with his abductors Dr. Dexter and his partner/lover Dr. Crimson. They treated Francis as if he was their own; They home schooled him and they taught him lots of things about their religious beliefs. This may seem fine to teach to your child. But if it evolves loving Satan and changing yourself for him then I don’t think it is.

You see, they weren’t mentally stable doctors. They believed Francis was the ‘chosen one’. They said that Satan himself chose Francis to play a big role in a satanic cult. They performed lots of surgical procedures on Francis once he turned 10. One involved giving him extra organs and shaping his body making him look more like a muscular beast than a 10-year-old boy. They injected him with a medicine called “prolaxine hydro cardine”. It was this  black substance and it smelled terrible and hurts like hell. The medicine caused his skin to become more transparent and sensitive to sunlight and caused his tears to turn black.

When he was 14 he had the body of a grown man. But more disfigured and not very pleasant to the eye. He would usually be the center of attention during cult gatherings. On his 15th birthday the cult gathered for a ritual in the basement of the doctors’ home. The basement was lit by candles and the scent of lavender filled the room. Everyone wore black robes and gathered in a large circle around Francis. He was tied down on an old dirty blood stained bed.

He was very uncomfortable and felt as if he wanted to vomit from the terrible smell, he knew what was gonna happen. He has seen this before. They did this to woman once and they said they do this to please the ‘father’. The members began to strip him of his clothes and the so-called parents, proceeded to have their way him in front of everyone. After, each member cut markings into his tired sore body and filled a small jar about the size of a pinball with his blood.

Francis couldn’t take it anymore. That night all he wanted to do was get out of that place. He needed to get away. He stared at the ceiling and thought about how sore he was and how much those cuts hurt. He thought about how the men he called his parents would do this to him. He felt violated and used. Then he realized, he was just a tool to them. All those smiles and nice comments were lies. He got up and opened a window and he proceeded to climb out and fall into the hard ground hurting his arm terribly. But he sucked it up and ran as far as he could from there. The cuts burned with every movement and his arm wasn’t getting any better.

He didn’t know where he was going considering they never let him out of the house. He ran a few miles and soon passed out in someones backyard. He woke up around 6 A.M. and he was so sore he could barely stand up straight. He was hungry, hurt, and still tired. He proceeded into a nearby forest. He walked deep inside the forest where he soon discovered a two-story house with a small truck in front of it. He knocked on the door desperately to seek help… and lucky for him I was the one who answered.

  • Rose Morrison

    A little difficult to read, with the spelling and grammatical errors, the missing words and the very rushed descriptions. Has potential if expanded, or used as a first chapter or serial. More information about the narrator would be good too. I look forward to more.

  • Richard Cutright

    Not a bad story but the ending is rather abrupt.

    On a side note ive yet to read a single story (few dozen by now) here that isn’t full of grammar errors. Does nobody proofread anymore? Lol

    • Rose Morrison

      I so agree Richard, sighs!

  • The_marked_ one

    Thank you guys for reading there are some grammar mistakes but there will be a second part telling more about me aka the narrator

    • Puddin Tane

      You have potential. If you want to be a good writer, ALWAYS proof read and edit your work BEFORE submitting. Doing it the way you have done makes it look like you put little thought in to it. The way I suggest will make it look more professional, more “adult” like. Otherwise, it looks like you’ve got the start of a good story on your hands. Keep up the good work.

  • Stephanie Reynolds

    I liked it! I would definitely love for it to be developed, maybe with some expanding on his childhood and his parents and, as has already been pointed out, slow down a bit and read over your work. Good job!