Cabin 413

It was in the early morning that me and my friends were driving off to Pettyville. Never could we have guessed the horrors that were there.

We arrived at the cabin at 10 o’clock AM. We could still hear the birds chirping. The cabin wasn’t too big, neither too small. Never would we have dreamed about the horrors that lied within.

We started our visit there by playing a relaxing game of cards when suddenly, the lights came off. My friend Jean went down into the small, dark cellar to see if he could fix it.

We waited for what seemed like hours for the lights to come back. “What’s that?” whispered Rebecca, pointing towards the blinds that covered the windows. The shadow had been moving slowly past the blinds, but now it stopped. We both held our breaths, when the lights came back on, and Jean came up from the basement.

Just as fast as it had appeared, the shadow disappeared. When we asked Jean about this mysterious shadow, he shrugged it off and said that it was probably just the wind.

Later that day, we were outside eating an early dinner when suddenly, we could hear a crack from above us. Then, I heard Rebecca whispering again. “There he is! The shadow I told you about”. I looked up and saw it too, an almost human-like shadow up on the trees. I asked Jean about it, if it really was someone. He shrugged it off and said it’s probably just our eyes messing with us.

Just as fast as it had appeared, the shadow disappeared. Rebecca wasn’t feeling good, later that night, so she decided to lie down in the bedroom. Jean had just gone to the car to get some bottles of beer when I heard Rebecca screaming at the top of her lungs.

I rushed in, kicked open the door and was suddenly paralyzed by the seven feet tall man looking down at me. His dress was covered in blood and right next to her lied Rebecca’s severed head.

There was a sudden silence, then a gunshot was heard. This is why you never go to cabin 413

  • Giulia

    This isn’t scary. It’s too short and there’s a lack of details. There’s no character development. I’m sorry I had to write a negative review, but I hope you’ll try to improve the things I criticized.
    Sorry for my bad English.

  • Samson Horne

    There is no need to ever foreshadow “scary”things are gonna happen, it’s creepy pasta. Def too short as well. Keep writing though! Always take criticism as a way to get better, I don’t write myself

  • Brandon Barrett

    Was really short and due to the lack of details I couldn’t quite understand what the story is about

  • Rose Morrison

    Much too short, it really needs developing and expanding to move the story quality up a few notches and allow for better character development. There are a lot of mis-spelt words, mis-used words, grammatical errors, tense changes, and even character gender changes, so an edit is an urgent must do too. A very good story premis, but needs a lot of tidying up to make it great.

  • AnBathory

    So what its happened before? Any more details? Its a good rough draft but needs more basis

  • zakaryspinx

    The devil is in the details… And this story is a saint… As in there are none… Please please PLEASE BE more descriptive next time. Im a fan of killers at campground stories. Anyone who enjoys the friday the 13th movies would be. So i really think you should call a mulligan on this one, and really rework it. Give us details… And dont just end it with some obscure crap… A gunshot? From who? From where? Is Smokey the bear tired of everyones crap? Whats the point here?